A poppy seed

Note: The Exhale Pro-Voice After-Abortion Stories Hub includes people’s stories of their experiences and emotions, exactly as they have written them in. We do not edit these stories at all, and the content that follows this message is exactly as we received it. We know that people’s experiences are complex, and these stories reflect the many emotions they may be feeling after their abortions. From relief to grief, and everything in between, and all at the same time, we’re here for you.

Submitted by: Kim Graham

Planned a pregnancy with husband, then changed my mind the night of the positive pregnancy test.

I had an abortion a few days later at 4 weeks and a few days. It is the size of a POPPY SEED. Think about that. It needed my body to grow into what could have been a baby but wasn’t at that point yet, obviously. I was devastated, went through counseling, still think about it but it’s getting so much better.

I have had a miscarriage before and two children. I know how hard it is to care for babies and children, and I know how hard it is going through a loss. I chose to go through another loss for my family, for my children. I need to be there for them. I need to respect my husbands wishes of keeping at 2 children.

I can get through this. I want this to be a lesson for other women, abortions can be good and the right moral choice. It was a poppy seed with potential but not a baby.

You deserve nonjudgmental
after-abortion support.

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5 responses to “A poppy seed”

  1. H

    I needed to hear this. It mimics my situation a lot. I am 3 days in since my abortion and I am not doing well. Thank you for making me feel like I’m not alone.

  2. Rachel

    Dear Kim, THANK YOU. This could be my story. I have two kids, have had a miscarriage. We thought we could handle one more, but then got pregnant and I was terrified, not sleeping, basically a total mess and not wanting to go forward. I never felt any of this with my other three pregnancies. I terminated it shortly after. I feel very conflicted… relief, sadness, fear, anger, grief. I am looking into counseling because I know that will help me. We are not alone!

  3. RT

    Thank you for sharing this. I recently terminated a third pregnancy that I thought I wanted. I was 8 weeks. I already have two young kids and once reality set in as to what a new baby would mean for my ability to parent my other two kids, take care of myself and work on improving my marriage, it seemed like the wrong thing to do. I am now suffering from a sense of loss and sadness. Hearing these stories help me. I hope one day I can see why this was the right decision for me and my family.

    1. Anaid

      Dear Kim and Rachel. Thank you for sharing your story, it helps me see things differently, I feel identified with them, it has been very devastating but I had to decide for my husband and my two children who are still young, the only difference is that it was not planned, the plan B pill didn’t work, and when I found out I was pregnant I got the covid, at the same time I was vaccinated which made me feel worse, fever and chills, felt angry with myself, I felt weak, tired and sick and I had to make the most difficult decision of any woman and then I did it a few weeks ago, since that day I have not had peace due to an internal conflict that I have about what could have been.
      I hope you are better now and I also hope the same for all of us. 💜

  4. Lex

    Dear Kim,
    It’s really great to hear that you took the necessary steps to heal. And it sounds like you made the right decision for you and your family. It’s really nice to hear that you are feeling better! I take a lot of comfort from those words, I’m sure others do, too. Thanks for sharing this.

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