Becoming a mom has changed how I feel about my abortion six years ago. I’m now a mom to a newborn baby girl and the grief of the previous abortion has impacted my pregnancy and being a mother now.
I was passive in my decision making, putting all responsibility on the father’s reaction and the fact that he didn’t want a child. I didn’t try hard enough to keep my baby then and I definitely could have had I gotten more counseling prior to the abortion. Emotions became so clouded.
I’m no longer with that ex but I mourn that loss of my baby and deeply regret it. There’s no perfect time in life for a baby and having an abortion was far from empowering in my experience.
The stance on abortion in the media lacks nuance and is polarised. The reality is you can be pro choice like me but still not realise the enormity of such a life changing decision that needs a lot of thought beforehand, and in my case, was with a man who made light of it, told me it was like a heavy period and abandoned me when I underwent the procedure.
What is made out to be a feminist issue is what many men wash their hands of and leave women to carry the responsibility of birth control, pregnancy and child rearing. I am deeply saddened I was with a man like that and it influenced my decision to terminate that pregnancy.
Submitted by: Karen