Submitted by: N

When I found out I was pregnant, I was alone with no support from the father. I knew something was wrong because my menstrual cycle is usually on time. I decided to take a test and found out I was 3+ weeks pregnant.

I texted a picture of the pregnancy test to the father and called him as well. Prior to taking the test, the father and I were seeing each other for 5 months, but due to poor communication on his end, I decided to end it. About a week later, I found out I was pregnant. Even though the father mentioned that he would support my decision, I still don’t know how he feels.

Today will be close to my one week mark for my post-surgical termination. At the time, I was 8 weeks pregnant and this was my first pregnancy. Deep down I wanted to keep it, but I knew my lifestyle and connection with the father were not suitable for a child. After the procedure was done, I felt numb to the feeling of terminating a pregnancy, but as the week went on, I’ve been feeling empty. I don’t feel guilty because I knew this was a hard decision to make on my own, but also knew that it was the necessary decision to make.

I find myself feeling emotional and empty often and don’t know what to do about it. I keep myself busy with school and work but often find myself thinking about the pregnancy a lot. I miss knowing that I had something special and something that was mine, but due to the situation, it was taken from me. Now I feel like I’ll be left with this empty feeling until time heals all wounds.