Here We Go Again

Note: The Exhale Pro-Voice After-Abortion Stories Hub includes people’s stories of their experiences and emotions, exactly as they have written them in. We do not edit these stories at all, and the content that follows this message is exactly as we received it. We know that people’s experiences are complex, and these stories reflect the many emotions they may be feeling after their abortions. From relief to grief, and everything in between, and all at the same time, we’re here for you.

Submitted by: S

So I’m back.

you may have read my story about me saying I had an abortion the next day. Just to reiterate, I’m 26 years old and have a one year old daughter. I previously had cancer and clotting problems when I was sick and pregnant.

I found myself pregnant again and went in to get an abortion. However, due to medical history I had to get a medical clearance from my oncologist. I was so upset because now another person has to know what I had to do. A week and a half later I got the clearance, rescheduled my appointment and went back once again.

Because I had already filled out the paperwork and counseling it went fairly quick, when I was waiting in the back I talked to a woman who said it wouldn’t be that bad considering I gave birth before. I was the first to see the doctor considering and I was grateful, I chose iv sedation. They gave me a shot and told me to breathe, I felt the speculum and the 2 shots to my uterus felt like cramping. The suction felt like a pulling like everything I read said, the worst part was the scraping. It lasted a few minutes (a few gasps) and once it was over they told me I did really well.

Once in the recovery I ate some crackers and drank some water, I felt so much better. I opted to see the ultrasound and keep pictures of before the procedure and after. It’s been a couple hours and I feel better, happy that it’s over with but I feel some sadness will follow. I won’t ever forget and I don’t regret my decision however like I said previously in my last submission, I’m just sad that I had to make this decision at all.

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