Hyperemesis Gravidarum Abortion

Note: The Exhale Pro-Voice After-Abortion Stories Hub includes people’s stories of their experiences and emotions, exactly as they have written them in. We do not edit these stories at all, and the content that follows this message is exactly as we received it. We know that people’s experiences are complex, and these stories reflect the many emotions they may be feeling after their abortions. From relief to grief, and everything in between, and all at the same time, we’re here for you.

Submitted by Susan Ponce

When I found out I was pregnant, it was the best night with the love of my life. We were incredibly happy and he was the happiest man alive. We’re 24 and having a baby, YAY!

However, the reason we found out I was pregnant is that I was so incredibly sick! Stomach pain, no energy, no appetite, no desire, irritable, a whole lot of throwing up, and many trips to urgent care… hyperemesis gravidarum was the diagnosis.

The doctors I followed up with at Kaiser did not believe medication was safe, so they prescribed IV fluids, B6, and sleep. That was not true. Everything, literally everything, would make me throw up. Every 10-15 minutes, heavier and heavier nausea. My plea for anti-nausea medication was dismissed. I would receive Zofran and an IV for the next hour in urgent care or ER, and back at it again as soon as we walked out. I constantly felt bad for how much stress I was causing my partner.

Following 2 months I lost 50lbs, dehydrated and attached to an IV pole, bedridden and solely depended on my partner. I couldn’t hold my bowels anymore and needed support to walk to the restroom. I was in so much pain and believed I was going crazy for how desperate I was for water, food, sleep, and relief. My partner seemed to be at a loss for what to do, and with my doctors denying treatment because of “potential 1st-trimester risks”, we turned to abortion.

The Kaiser Doctor told me that I have “no right”. He gave me an very hard time and refused to make a referral. After a couple days and phone calls, we found a nurse who had the same experience and gave me a referral.

When we summed up the strength to take action, I was turned away by FPA women’s health center in SB (my referral provider) because I was too complicated and HG gave me an even greater risk. I never actually saw the doctor but they demanded a co-pay anyway. Heartbroken, infuriated, rejected, still chronically nasueated.

Without insurance, I sought help from Planned Parenthood. The service was incredible, nurses so supportive, all my questions were answered, and very clean facility.

With no hesitation, I was given immediate medication for HG; I finally felt some semblance of normal and was able to drink about 3 oz of water. It felt like a miracle.

4 hours after pre-operative medication; my name was called. It was my turn. The doctor was kind, respectful, informative, and answered all my questions clearly. I was ready.

During the procedure after being medicated, I could feel a moment of cloudy disbelief of what I was doing to my baby. Heartbreak started to sink in and then I completely blanked out.

When I woke up, I felt ok. I ignored what had just happened and wanted to make it all go away as if it never took place. My Partner seemed indifferent, which secretly hurt. He grew irritable, yet took me to my absolute favorite taco place 2 hours away as an icebreaker between us. I wanted nothing.

The next day I woke up as if I were a normal with no cares in the world — a sunny day! Shock settled in when I made it to the toilet on my own withut collapsing. I was so happy inside!

My health improved over the next few days. I ate a single taco and held it down! A cup of water and no barf bucket! I felt my physical relief, but still, we didn’t talk about it, everything just seemed to go back to normal.

Now, here I am a month later and everything reminds me of my baby. I regret everything. I don’t want anything. I don’t feel like I deserve any affection. I destroyed my relationship with my love because I cannot handle being reminded of our baby and I don’t feel worthy of his affection. I feel heartbroken all the time and guilty for desiring relief. All my anger is because of it, all my sorrow is because of it, I feel crazy. I feel SO MAD that I pretended like my abortion never happened because what people might think of me (my partner, Super religious parents, co-workers) and I have no one to talk to about it. I need my partner to understand me, but he can’t, and I don’t know how to change that.

I came across Exhale today for the first time. I talked and cried for the first time to a complete stranger.

People need to talk about their abortion experience because there are people in situations like mine, digging themselves in a dark hole in the middle of the night because there is no one to talk to without judgment. Reserve judgment and offer simple relief.

You deserve nonjudgmental
after-abortion support.

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148 responses to “Hyperemesis Gravidarum Abortion”

  1. Lellow

    I am currently feeling the guilt of having to terminate my wanted pregnancy at 10 weeks due to Hg. Hg is very ruthless 😭

    1. C

      I’ve had to terminate 2 pregnancies due to “HG” the first time was the worst thing I’ve ever experienced in my life & wish on absolutely anyone.. the first time they weren’t sure what is was or what I was talking about no one understood so I decided to terminate, by the second time after 5 trips to the hospital, passing out, constantly wanting to die and it just be over lbs they finally diagnosed me but nothing was working I also lost about 45lb so I did the inevitable again 🙁 the 3rd time I just couldn’t end another pregnancy I wanted my baby so bad I was determined to just get through it I told myself if I can make it to 12 weeks than I can do it, a friend of mine smokes marijuana (MUST BE INDICA) and insisted that at least I should try. I turned it down for weeks but the HG was so unbearable I needed to find something I took one puff just to see and literally instant relief! I couldn’t believe it! it was like miracle, and now I know why marijuana is medical… around 17-18 weeks the HG calmed down tremendously all I end up needing were the nausea pills and I was feeling much better and went on to have me an 8lb 7inch baby boy he was huge & perfect 🤩

      1. Kay

        Marijuana has been the only relief I’ve ever found in my three pregnancies with HG! The only thing that brought me back to life. Just use in moderation. And once HG settles at the end of the second trimester than you can stop.

    2. Natalie

      Hello. I terminated my pregnancy at 11 weeks due to my HG. It is heartbreaking and I am absolutely heartbroken. I know what you mean, all you can think about is your baby and you’d do anytning for it back. I told my sister I don’t even need to eat.. I just want my baby back inside. She said don’t be silly you couldn’t eat you couldn’t drink.. You couldn’t even walk to the bathroom. You couldn’t care for your kids. And she was right. I did the right thing for my kids. I know that. But for me, it’s a decision I have to live with forever.

      1. Nw suburbs girl

        Hi, I’m also in the same boat. I’m 25, was semi ready to bring a baby into the world because I’m so old now or (feel old) and I’ve met the love of my life/been with him for two years. I also had the same issues but only finally went to the ER a week before I made my decision to get rid of my baby. I got a bag of fluids, but my problem was everything came out as the runs instead of puke (which I’ve never really vomited a lot in my life) and I could not eat anything without being on the toilet for two hours after. Constant nausea so bad I was bed ridden and the list goes on. I was prepared to keep going but something in me reminded me that I am a woman and I matter to. My personal life, if I’m fully ready or not, and my health are important. I had already lost around 25 pounds at week 7 of the pregnancy, and the baby was very small in the ultrasound but I decided to have a private at home abortion. I can’t literally can’t tell my partner because they’d never forgive me and sometimes you aren’t supposed to share certain things so maybe that will always be the case for both of us, not being able to tell the people we love most and the other parent involved but I have sort of accepted that. It’s just crazy to me, how much I had grown to hate the baby but love it and now sadly I am not sure where they went but I pray for them.
        You’re not alone, I have no one to tell this to either. Sending love and healing

        1. Zara

          Wow that was painful to read. You don’t need to feel bad or guilty for anything, HG is one of the worst things anyone can go through. I understand you fully. I’ve terminated a pregnancy due to HG and I don’t regret it… the hardest part was no one understanding and feeling like I was weak because I couldn’t handle a ‘normal pregnancy’ being told it was just morning sickness for so long and it would pass.. I held on until I had to be hospitalised due to passing out and not being able to wake up.. through early pregnancy I couldn’t eat or drink anything not even a drop of water on my tongue without gagging then vomiting bile, chronic heavy nausea was with me 24/7 along with extremely excessive saliva and I couldn’t understand where the saliva came from? I wasn’t drinking anything for days, weeks.. it felt like it was being sucked from my brain and dripping into my mouth.. I had severe headaches all the time, my teeth and gums pumped away with pain that I had never felt before.. I hated the smell of anything and everything around me, still to this day some of those smells make me gag, I couldn’t look at the lights, even just breathing made me feel like I wanted to vomit.. i had to stay still with my eyes closed. I felt like I was dying and I’m not exaggerating, I promise it was that bad.. at times I hated my baby for making me feel this way.. I wanted to rip it out or jump off a building and end the torture I felt. I became so dehydrated and weak my organs eventually started failing me, I didn’t pass urine for days and started blacking out, yet I was too weak to ask for help. Thankfully my family eventually knew something was not right and got me to the emergency quickly. I stayed in hospital for more then a week and to be honest I never wanted to leave.. unless it was for an abortion. I just couldn’t go through with it.. there wasn’t enough support from the professionals, I felt so alone in my experience. I felt traumatised by it all and I knew I could no longer go ahead with the pregnancy even if no one could really understand me. It was killing me mentally and physically I couldn’t handle it anymore. I use to feel weak and guilty but I don’t anymore, I know what I was going through even if the professionals couldn’t understand, I felt like they also thought I was just being ‘weak’ My family and partner couldn’t seem to really understand, they would say they did but I felt a disappointment in them that still hasn’t gone away.. but I know what I went through and it wasn’t worth it without the support I needed. I had the abortion near 10 weeks and of course if I held on longer maybe it would have been okay.. but I felt I couldn’t and I felt alone with no real professional support. HG is real and I wish professionals would take it more seriously and find ways to help these woman as much as possible and in any way possible, even if it means making a special place in hospital for it where you can stay and be treated as needed.. Having a baby is so important to the world and ensuring all woman are safe and kept healthy whilst pregnant should be a priority. Pregnancy is no walk in the park and woman who are pregnant deserve the best treatment they can get.. I hope the world comes to understand this one day and that every woman can go through pregnancy and birth without experiencing such pain and suffering.

      2. Amanda

        Don’t feel bad, you have to be good mentally and physically to be able to live. I had 3 babies with HG, lost jobs, places to live, no money and can’t take care of the other kids. No one cared and was able to help with those important needs. Meds didn’t help. My last one I had HG again, one hospital visit and missing 3 weeks of work and my kids late to school everyday. I couldn’t do months of sickness again and risk losing it all and pushing people away because I am so disabled and can’t even brush my teeth without vomiting up bile and then going through a whole episode of halfway death.

      3. Jaylyn

        I made the decision to terminate at 11 weeks due to HG. I do not regret my choice at all. My two small children depend solely on me for care and I could not care for them, let alone myself, in a debilitated state. I could barely walk upright as the illness had ravaged my body so badly that I lacked the strength to do basic tasks.

  2. J

    I found out I was pregnant and was so incredibly scared. My partner and I devided to keep it and got excited about having a child. About 6 weeks in I developed HG and was puking 10-30 times a day. I am already a very healthy weight, maybe even too skinny, but I lost 3 pounds a week while pregnant. It was the most painful, horrible and unbearable experiences of my life. Doctors dismissed my symptoms and no one listened. My boyfriend was as supportive as ever and advocated for me as much as he could even though I was so irrated with him all the time.

    I finally decided to get an abortion and I scheduled it. Planned Parenthood was amazing. I thought I would feel guilty or discusted with myself. All I felt was relief. It’s been 5 months and I wanted to share this with anyone going through an HG pregnancy. I’ve never felt better about a decision I truly thought I would regret. It was the right descision and I am glad I am not 6 and a half months pregnant right now. I can’t imagine the state I would be in and how miserable and horrible I would feel.

  3. Hayden

    I am 20 years old and this would have been my first child but I have an appointment to terminate the pregnancy on Thursday (about 36 hours from the time i’m making this post.) When this first happened to me it would start out by being sick maybe once a day or after certain foods but it has definitely gotten alot worse as the time persists onwards. I have yet to vomit, thankfully I have kept the puke down but it is always in the back of my throat waiting to come up if i eat too much or drink too much or even move around too much. I’m not sure if this is something I will ever experience again in my life if I decide to have another child.. but I think it’s given me alot of insight on whether i want to go through this again. All I can hope for is not only getting better but an understanding in the future for a partner who will support my decision to not want to be pregnant ever again. I am fine adopting either animal children or actual children but I do not wish to carry in my body ever again. I do not regret my decision to terminate and I know that sounds very selfish because alot of women wish that they can have children and just cant.. but this wasn’t what I thought being pregnant was going to be like.

  4. Erika

    I recently terminated my first pregnancy at twelve weeks due to HG. It has been the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever done. I was so thrilled to be a mama and so excited to welcome my baby into the world. My HG started at 6 weeks and progressively got worse and worse. Doctors were dismissive, told me to tough it out, put me on every med and when nothing worked, told me there was nothing more they could do. I was loosing weight, dehydrated, overwhelmingly dizzy, and weak… in and out of the ER. I felt like I was dying. My partner was stressed and unsure of how to care for me- nothing he could do would ever make the non-stop vomiting and nausea go away.

    I wanted my baby so bad, but my body just couldn’t do it.

    When I informed my doctor of my decision to terminate, she told me I should try hypnosis. While I respect all forms of treatment, the suggestion felt like a slap in the face.

    The nurses and doctors at my termination were wonderful. For the first time in my pregnancy, they made me feel heard, seen, and valid. My HG went away practically immediately.
    But I still feel destroyed inside. Defeated that my body wasn’t good enough for my baby. Feeling hollow and missing my unborn child.

    No one understand HG until they have lived it. It’s so difficult to talk to people about the decision to terminate. They don’t understand that it’s more than just morning sickness, that it’s unending, untreatable, and physically defeating. Thank you all for sharing your stories, reading them helps me to not feel so alone.

    1. Shani Getten

      I think I felt you through your reply Erika. It was the most annoying thing from my aunt who kept saying oh nausea is normal or vomiting is normal after I have 2 kids I must know that some nausea is normal. But there is no words to help someone understand hg. You definitely have to go through it to know.

      1. Calvalena Green

        Hello ladies I’m currently 11 weeks pregnant with HG AND THIS MY SECOND PREGNANCY MY DAUGHTER IS 6 years old I never had this sickness with her only morning sickness but with this baby omg y’all I can’t keep no food thing no water no juice or anything I lost 20 pounds I been in and out the hospital because of this HG ITS HORRIBLE IM VERY MISERABLE WITH THIS SO TODAY I WOULD BE GETTING MY FIRST ABORTION TODAY AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD IM ALIL SCARED AND NERVOUS BUT I GOTTA BE STRONG IM ALSO GONNA GET THE IUD TODAY TOO

    2. This is exactly how I’ve been feeling. Everything’s so similar and I’ve been trying to put it into words. I’m 10 weeks and keep telling myself if it doesn’t get better by 12 weeks I will have to terminate, my body is breaking down day by day. I can’t work or support myself. I constantly need help to even brush my hair or teeth. It’s debilitating. I was so excited to be a mom but now I’m worried about my health mentally and physically. I’m heartbroken.

    3. Sam

      Thanks for sharing your story. I just got out of the hospital yesterday. I was so dehydrated they couldn’t find a vein for IV and I stopped urinating almost completely. I toss and turn all night, feel in a constant state of near panic and have been able to eat a few crackers and applesauce per day. And this is after I’ve received treatment. I vomit up bile morning to afternoon until my body realizes there’s nothing left. Message boards like this have saved me. I knew nothing about HG before and was encouraged by other womens stories to seek treatment very early. I’m about 5 weeks pregnant. I can only function while on Zofran. My HCG hormone levels on a scale of 5 or less topped out at 49,000. Please ask for bloodwork!!

  5. Jada

    Hi ladies,
    Although I wish this on no one, I am so glad to know I’m not going through this alone. Found out I was pregnant at 5 weeks, I took the test because I was extremely ill. Currently at week 8, I’ve been hospitalized twice due to dehydration. I cried to my doctors, family, friends, something is not right! I knew my body and I knew this couldn’t be normal morning sickness because everyone talks about how great it is to be pregnant. My diagnosis confirmed I wasn’t going crazy. I’ve already lost ten pounds, I can’t keep a thing down, and well , you all know the pain. I lay on the bathroom floor crying every night that I want to die, I could not imagine doing this another seven months. I will be terminating the pregnancy next week, with the pill. Even a week a way seems impossible. Since my depression has gotten worse, I’ve been checking in with my therapist a lot more. She begged me since I already made the decision to terminate , to please try smoking some weed to get myself through the week. I quit when I found out, and heard it could make it worse. I had to force myself to do it, because the thought of smoking even made me throw up. However, I’m so thankful I did. All I take is a few hits and I’m able to eat and keep things down!! My nausea goes away, and I can feel my body relax and was finally able to get a good night sleep without waking up constantly to throw up. I do not want to smoke through my pregnancy , and although it provides relief I cannot stay home smoking all day everyday. I pray that this week flies by. I thank each and everyone of you for sharing your stories, I’ve never even heard of HG until I was diagnosed. I felt so alone and guilty until now. You’re all incredibly strong and am so glad we have the support of each other.

    1. Wow I can relate to all the wonderful ladies on here..I went to the er yesterday morning ,due to the fact that I have been extremely sick and can not even keep water down or do I even have the appetite to eat.i work full time and have a soon to be 5 year old that I dont recall my morning sickness being this bad
      .an it wasn’t just in the morning it was literally all day and would hit me harder at night so all throughout the night spitting up an vomiting..as much as I would of loved to continue on with my pregnancy this sickness has got the best of me an will be completing my abortion today..I just want to feel better this sickness literally has you feeling like death is near and you aren’t sure how much longer you will survive..it was hard I struggled with should I do this or should I not..but I Know I made the right choice for my son n i..stay strong ladies …

      1. Chantel

        I went through the same thing. Even had my abortion the same day, may 12 2021. I still feel sick and weak but getting better slowly.

        1. Hayley

          I terminated at the end of April this year. I had HG with my first and it almost killed me, in and out of hospitals, I ended up having panic attacks and wanting to die. I found out I was pregnant with my second child at the end of March and was so excited – it wasn’t planned. I knew it was a boy as soon as I took the test and I was so very hopeful that I wouldn’t be sick this time. I had two good weeks were I was ‘normal’ and I though… ‘maybe I’m further along than I imagine.’ I didn’t even know when my last period was… maybe this time I can carry a much wanted second baby without sickness. But 2 weeks later the sickness started and my mental health shot into the gutter again. I was struggling to keep myself ‘well’ let alone look after my 18 month old. I booked it a termination and had it at the end April.
          There is no shade of doubt that I did the right thing, I couldn’t do it again. But that doesn’t stop the heart ache of what I’ve done. I think about baby boy every day, trying names on him and wondering about him. My husband says I didn’t kill a baby… it was just a bunch of sells, but to me, I did. I killed my baby, I stopped his heart from beating as he was ripped from my body and that kills me. I wanted to love him and hold him one day and now all he’ll ever be is a memory and a wish.
          It breaks my heart everyday – it’s such a paradox that you can absolutely make the right choice for urself and ur family but it doesn’t make it easy or painless.
          It’s nice to know other women out there can understand and have been there too, that I’m not alone

        2. Cheryl

          I’ve had 3 pregnancies – had SEVERE HG with all 3. The first was at 18 – I thought it was normal to be that sick & with both parents dead & no family close, there was no one to care for me when my boyfriend was working. At 4 months I was put on medication – but had a miscarriage. 2nd pregnancy at 24, I decided to have an abortion at 12 weeks – I was not even expecting to get that sick again. At 27, really wanting to have a child, had many pre-pregancy physicals & tests to see what might me predisposing me to HG – I even had my gallbladder & appendix removed. I gained weight on purpose to try & help withstand the weight loss in case it happened again. Unfortunately, I had to end the pregnancy at 17 weeks because I was living on an IV & being fed with parental nutrition (through a vein) & my veins were collapsing. I, too started to lose bowel control, had Weirnecke’s encephalitis, developed coffee ground vomitus, hemorrhages in the vessels in by eyes from the pressure of protracted vomiting, & cracked ribs from the force of the vomiting. I went from 160 at the start of the pregnancy, to 125. I tried all the the recommended treatments & was on experimental treatment for 6 weeks – nothing helped. The hospital & my doctor refused to give me an abortion, so I consulted Family Planning Associates (FPA) – after the procedure, I could eat & hold down orange juice the same day. I have severe GERD because my esophageal sphincter is worn out, like an overly stretched rubber band – as a result, I now have Barrett’s Esophagus, a form of precancer of the throat. I don’t look at the ultrasound pics of my children much – it’s just too sad that the little people that I could have loved & cared for more than anything in the world, almost caused me my own life. All 3 pregnancies were unspeakable hells.

      2. Bryanna

        The end of May I found out I was pregnant. I had 2 miscarriages before that one but somehow I knew that one was going to stick. At 6 weeks I started getting extremely sick to the point where I couldn’t eat or drink anything no matter how hard I tried. I would vomit everything right away. At 7 weeks I couldn’t take it anymore so I went to the hospital and they prescribed me b6 and other medication and kept me on IVs for my HG then sent me home. Nothing they gave me helped and I started vomiting blood. I had lost 10lbs in a week so I went back to the hospital and they prescribed me Zofran. I told them I wanted to have an abortion and they kept trying to convince me to keep the baby. I couldn’t get any help from them and my family just told me it was normal and to just deal with it. They didn’t understand what HG was since they never had it and thought I was exaggerating. I was bedridden and cried every day just to be able to have a sip of water. I was convinced I was going to die from dehydration. At 8 weeks I made an appointment for planned parenthood and they gave me the abortion pill. It ended the pregnancy but I still had the symptoms because the baby was still in me so I had to wait another week to have the D&C. By the time I had the surgery I had lost 20lbs but I was able to drink water the same day. I was so happy to be able to drink and eat that I did not regret my decision. It’s been 6 months since the abortion and I have been regretting it lately thinking maybe I could’ve been stronger. It has gotten to me and I’ve become depressed and it’s affecting my relationship. After reading these comments I have learned that I couldn’t have survived this long no matter how strong I am. It would have affected me mentally and physically. It was a tough decision but I had to do it for myself. I was slowly losing myself and was having bad thoughts while I had HG. I felt alone all this time but now I see that I’m not alone. Thank you all for sharing your stories.

    2. amyB

      i am so proud of you. all us HG girls are rooting for you.

  6. Jay

    I scheduled to have my abortion in 9 days. I felt like I have fought with everything I had for almost 7 weeks. The vomiting and the nausea are relentless. My OB has me on every medication I can think of and nothing is working. I can’t fight any longer. I feel like it’s selfish to want the abortion sooner. I just want to feel well again. My husband has to do everything as I’m bed ridden and can’t even do anything for myself. I feel disgusting and nothing seems to stay down. I feel sorry for my unborn child and I feel like a monster but I can no longer fight this fight.

    1. Stephanie

      My abortion is scheduled in 2 days, which I have been counting down due to severe HG. I feel so guilty as I would never want to terminate a pregnancy but my mental and physical health is deteriorating. I have a one year old who I haven’t been able to fully interact with for the past week and it kills me. I know this is the right choice but I can’t help but feel bad and obviously emotional. Dr did prescribe me ondansetron and I am still horribly sick. I hate to see other women go through what I am but it definitely makes me feel like I’m not alone. I can’t imagine how bad it would be if I didn’t have meds. My other half has had to pick up all of my slack and I feel bad for him, as he’s such a hard worker.

  7. I had an unwanted termination at 12 weeks yes due to extreme hg,I was excited as this was my 3rd pregnancy and had a miscarriage same time a year before. I started to get sick at week 7 it was manageable but not long after it was severe I was bedridden for 5 weeks,showered every 3 days could only keep a small amount of food/drink down pretzels and watered down raro was all I could keep down really which was ok if it ment I could carry on but with the rest of my symptoms just couldn’t. Even stopped taking my folic acid pills everything just made me sick I had to rush round to find anything to help my tastebuds or I’d just vomit,I could barely walk cause I’d just vomit pretty much if I used any bit of energy I had I’d just vomit also from my excessive salivation. I bought a bit of blood up aswell hospitalized twice first iv fluid/nausea medication worked so well I wanted to stay in hospital for 9 months but had to take pills instead which I didn’t at first cause I was scared to bring them up but tried them anyway and don’t feel they helped much unless I didn’t give them time. I had a negative mind all I was worried about was my desperation to be well again,my nausea dropped a tiny bit and felt real good but still had it along with every other horrible hg symptom. My kids started to come in the room to get me like mum play with me,my partner went off work which he was fine with then was stressed with doing everything I was miserable 24/7 no breaks I slept to avoid the sickness. Didn’t want to attend any appointments even my fully formed scan didn’t make me hang in there,I couldn’t wait for it to be over I hoped for a miscarriage I struggled to go toilet and brush my teeth which was the only thing I’d get up for as I felt like my teeth were gonna disappear. I had it with my 2nd born it was a struggle but manageable this time felt impossible to manage,baby was probably my daughter every day I wish I had the strenght to just hang in there I’m now torn and imagine my announcement,gender reveal and babygirl shopping I could’ve had but struggled and failed with which I will always own.

    1. Mary

      Thank you.

  8. Tali

    Thank you to every woman who has commented on this post. And I am so sorry too. I had to make the call to terminate my pregnancy in August, at 9 weeks. I had severe HG from 4 weeks, and i couldn’t ever keep down a sip of water. Ondansetron helped for a few days and then stopped working. Hospital repeatedly refused me IV and I had no idea what else to do. I was terrified I was going to die, and my GP told me my symptoms were too severe for primary care, but the hospital wouldn’t help. Termination was the last thing I wanted, but the only thing I felt I could do.

    It’s hard. It still is. Miscarrying is brutal but at least it’s completely out of your control. An ‘unwanted termination’ is really messy to get your head around. 6 months later I still know I made the only choice I could have, but it’s so hard to be ok with it. I don’t really talk to people about it because I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to make a big deal of it yet I feel like a shadow of my pre-pregnancy self. Appreciate the camaraderie in this post and all the comments. This shit is hard.

    1. Andrea

      Thank you for sharing your story, it is helping me. I am six weeks pregnant and so sick. Nauseous and vomiting all day. I can’t drink any fluids and can barely get off the couch. I have an 11 year old and 8 year old daughter. With my 8 year old, I got a PICC line in at 8 weeks but the zofran did nothing for me. At around 24 week I developed an excruciating headache that no one could diagnose and no one would treat me because of my HG. It was finally discovered I had two holes torn in my spinal cord from excessive vomiting and my low spinal fluid was causing pressure on my brain. The rest of my pregnancy continued to get worse until my daughter was finally born. Now I am pregnant again, suffering from extreme nausea and vomiting and I decided I can’t go through another pregnancy like my last one. I am feeling so sad. My daughter is the light of my life and I’m so thankful for her, I’m feeling guilty I made it with her but I am quitting on this one. I am terminating tomorrow. No one can understand what this is like. How awful this is mentally and physically.

  9. Tenzing

    Hello everyone
    Greetings from India
    I’m going through the same thing. I am severely dehydrated and can’t stand the smell of anything and I am almost two months pregnant. I have lost almost 5 kgs and my gynaecologist was very understanding and my abortion is due tomorrow. I can’t take this any longer I am already depressed and on anxiety pills.

    1. Dr_Economist

      I am hospitalised and under doctors’ care because of HG. I am so alone and going through exactly the same process. I am completely lost. I have no child and this was like a God-sent gift. It started in my 5th week of pregnancy and I am now in my 9th week. I really don’t know what to do.

      1. Isabel

        It’s so nice to know that there are others like me. I’m 7 weeks and I’ve been in and out of the hospital because of this going on. I suggested to my partner about termination my pregnancy as I feel like can’t handle another “6 weeks” of this or even handle another day of this. Not to mention I have SO many other health problems which could make this even worse. I’m so scared because I had announced to everyone I was pregnant already but Never expected to feel this bad. I’m hopeless and scared because I’ve heard how they make some women depressed thinking of what they did. My partner told me he understand if I want to go for termination because he sees how hard this is on me already and he just wants me feel better again.
        I guess I’m just scared of how depressed I’d be if I terminated but also how depressed I’d be if I keep the baby. I’m so scared.

        1. Isabel

          Not to mention that there was stuff in my urine that basically said my body was starving and breaking up muscle to help me.

          1. Alyssa

            I just had an abortion on Tuesday. Medical at home. It’s Thursday and I’m still vomiting but I’m pretty sure the abortion worked. I’ve been monitoring to make sure there’s no signs of infection. The only one who knows is my partner and he sucks about it. Even tho he agreed were not ready right now he’s putting the blame on me… Why didn’t u get on birth control… But let’s not mention him needed to paw at me like every other day to satisfy his needs. Right now on the phone he told me i better stop being a baby and feel better… I’m the one vomiting to the point I’m weak. Do i wanna feel like this no! I can hardly keep down water. Or i need to eat and find a position and not move and hope for the best… It’s hard. He doesn’t get it as most men don’t even care to try. I feel tired and weak. I can’t even talk to my best friend. She thought i should keep it and give it for adoption if i don’t want it. I just wanna feel good and normal again. Even tho things seem to be going ok im scared what if it’s an infection?

        2. Lilly

          Hi ladies, I started suffering with HG just before I was 5 weeks pregnant in January. I was in and out of hospital on drips and the sickness wouldn’t stop day or night. Any smell, food, liquid or touch would set me off! I felt disgusting, and it made me very depressed. However, every time I cried and vomited, bed ridden with a bucket next to me at all times I would remind myself that this wouldn’t be forever! I felt like a terminally ill person, and told myself that it would get better! I tried not to get angry and take it out on my precious baby and got mad with my hormones and blamed the placenta! I suffered everyday and night for 6 months and eventually just accepted it! Finally at 6 months I am feeling normal again, I am out of bed and doing daily chores, moving around and feel great!. I am so thankful I get to see my baby grow and can’t wait to meet her!. There is light at the end of the tunnel! And now I look back and I’m happy I persevered. You’re not alone, unfortunately there are many women suffering with HG, you will get through it!. x

        3. Melissa Victor

          I have had 6 hg pregnancies!! 1 abortion 1 miscarriage. It was the most difficult times of my life to go through with each pregnancy that led to birth. I lost a total of 200 pounds between all the births. I now have ptsd as a result. People who have never experienced hg will never understand how hard it is. I couldn’t work. I couldn’t care for my family or myself. I couldn’t shower myself. I wasn’t permitted to drive because I passed out all the time. It WAS AWFUL!!! The meds weren’t that effective for me. Now all my kids have had problems with their primary teeth. I was on 5 different meds. The only thing I did, was sleep most the pregnancy. Sometimes I would wake up and not know where I was or who I was or what day it was. And each time was worse than the last!!!! But I can say, once I saw my baby, all that pain and sickness was worth it.. hang in there ladies. HER Foundation is working towards finding a cure.

          1. Melissa Victor

            Forgot to mention I have 4 hg babies. Again, hang in there!❤️

          2. D. Pollock

            Melissa our story is so similar! Along with these other ladies. This struggle is deathly depressing. Painful to say the least. I’ve had 7 HG pregnancies. Terminated my 3rd hg preg. due to this and now I’m on my 8th HG pregnancy and I’m horribly considering to terminate. It taunts me and brings so much guilt to want to do this. I’m going on 8 weeks and I’m trying so hard to keep my baby. I have 6 children and just praying to not let them down and not fail…..thankfully my husband is supportive….

    2. MC

      I just found out I’m pregnant with my second child, my bf and I are very happy to have another.

      my first is now 1 I suffered HG thru out the pregnancy and i don’t want to sound rude but it was the shittiest I’ve ever experienced and I don’t believe any mother who say pregnancy’s the most beautiful thing to experience. Those women are lucky! I pray to god that he gives me a easy pregnancy with this one but I’m only 2 months and severely having it again. I’m losing weight, no appetite, I vomit all day to night time especially when I force myself to eat, once food hits my stomach It comes back up again. I’m so dehydrated and always dizzy I’ve never experienced stomach pains though and idk what to do I tell my bf how much suffering and pain it is to go thru this.
      I thought about aBortion but I seriously don’t want one, I just want something that will help ! Nothing works I’ve tried everything

      1. Sativa

        Marijuana was the herb that saved my life. I’m 6 weeks I’m already a mother of 4 and this is my 3rd time going through this. After smoking it saved my life everytime after being hospitalized in the past given Zofrn this is the ONLY thing that took away every symptom. I was able to eat take care of my kids eat a full meal walk not want to throw not constantly spitting. Did I mention I could eat and smells did not bother me any more.

        1. Karen Beck

          I went through this, I couldn’t get out of bed. I called for an ambulance on several occasions as i was crawling across the floor feeling so rough I couldn’t stand it
          I had a son of 9 and a 15/year old daughter. I was 41 , at the time. I couldn’t look after my children , cook , clean house, there was stuff everywhere! I couldn’t cope. I went to hospital twice and put on a drip, but after felt just the same. My boyfriend at the time abandoned me and wanted me to have an abortion. He was a nasty bully. The first appointment I turned back only to go back again 4 days later. I was numb and sad , I was not thinking straight
          But I went through with it. For what ?? I have been unwell many times since then and the bully of a boyfriend beat me up 5 months later and met other women . he then a few years later got someone else pregnant and I had to watch it all happen.
          He didn’t deserve a child! I never got pregnant again. My poor little baby was 11 weeks, I wanted so much , yet I allowed others to make my decisions and a sickness that would have gone away. I have never recovered and I feel grief everyday for the child I lost but love so very dearly. In the arms of the angel.

        2. LA

          I’m currently 8 weeks and scheduled an abortion for tomorrow. I’m early enough where I can take medication at home to abort. Currently on my 2nd hospital stay after my 5th trip to the hospital. Nothing they have done for me has worked to help with my HG. I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle and I can’t go on like this anymore. I have two children at home that I can’t take care of and I’ve had episodes of passing out and hitting my head because I’m so severely dehydrated. My body is breaking down and they don’t want to do anything else for me because I’m pregnant. I called my husband lastnight while in a full panic and told hin I was terminating the pregnancy. He is being 100% supportive and understanding and he just wants me to be healthy again. Its hard because we planned this pregnancy but I did not know that morning sickness could be this bad. I didn’t experience this with my first two and to be honest, after this experience, I will no longer be trying for another child. I’m hurt that I won’t be able to carry this baby to term but I refuse to feel like a bad person for it. I’m doing this to protect my physical and mental health as well as doing it so I can continue to take care of the children I have. I wish many blessings and continued healing to all you beautiful and strong women here. If you all ever feel alone just remember we are all in this together. This thread had helped me tremendously and I hope it does the same for the next person in need.

          1. amyB

            i am so proud of you. all us HG girls are rooting for you. absolutely inspiring.

        3. Emile

          I was told that with HG it would potentially make me sicker. I was a smoker before I was pregnant and I’m afraid to chance it. :/ Otherwise I’d definitely agree with you

    3. Abi

      After two hypermesis based babies I am now on my third and this I really can’t bare with it my husband is loving he suggested we terminate as well the hardest thing to do ever but I have bared through the first two now I can’t seem to stand it all hurting so bad but I can’t go on with this one God help us

    4. Tee Marie

      My 3rd pregnancy was brutal. I spent 3 months in the ER hooked to IVs and was on a number of medications (what they give cancer patients) just to try and keep something down. I ended up causing a mild placenta abruption due to the excessive vomiting. Having HG has me scared to get pregnant again, but we tried again a couple of years anyway, I didn’t think it would be so bad. I ended up terminating a few days ago. I couldn’t take being sick another day, and while I feel bad, I can’t help but to feel relieved. Hopefully your husband will understand that it’s literally a life or death situation and you did what was best for you.

  10. Crystal

    I had to terminate my pregnancy at 8 weeks on yesterday due to HG. It started at 5 weeks. Excessive saliva, nausea, and vomiting. I had to take a week off from work. I already have two boys. I could barely take care of my kids from being sick. My mom had to help. I was in ER several times. None of the meds they gave me worked. I couldn’t even keep water down. I became dehydrated. This was the worst thing I ever had to go through. It’s really sad that women have to go through this and there isn’t really anything to help deal with this and some have to choose to terminate pregnancy. I’m still dealing with the excessive saliva and a little bit of nausea 24 hours later since the abortion. I just can’t wait to feel like myself again.

    1. Stephanie

      Not sure if you’ll see this in time or how this site even works, but I’m going through the exact same thing as you. Two boys, I’m about 8-9 weeks and been bed ridden with the worst sickness of my life for the last 3 weeks. I made an apt which is tomorrow to terminate the pregnancy but I’m so nervous my body isn’t strong enough for the procedure. Did you have any complications where you were so dehydrated and weak or was the abortion completely fine? I’m so nervous and scared for something to go wrong because I haven’t been eating or drinking hardly anything for the last 3 weeks.

  11. Hi all,
    I’m currently suffering with HG and nearly 11wks, this is my 3rd pregnancy and 3rd time suffering with this condition. I’m feeling so fed up and feel like I’ve now got no life, I’ve been off work about a month now and totally bed ridden. I’ve been in hospital twice now for IV fluids (was in 5 times with my 2nd dd) so almost feeling dread as I know this isn’t coming to an end anytime soon. This was a planned baby (my husbands 1st and my last). We’ve just recently got married and this is our honeymoon baby but feel like we’ve gone from so happy to so miserable. My husband gets whatever I need food wise but feel like I never seen him, feel like there’s so much distance between us now and that’s before I told him I was considering a termination. I feel like crap because I can’t help with my two children and him, my mum and dad are having to do everything for them. Medication is hit and miss as to whether it works which doesn’t help matters. Just absolutely fed up and don’t know what to do. Just want it to end and not feel sick or be sick just because I wash my face, take a bath, brush my teeth, eat, drink etc and fed up of the excessive saliva and constantly having to spit all the time because if I don’t then that makes me sick……..just please make it all stop!!!! I want things to go back to normal but if I make this decision that may never happen. ??

    1. Holly

      I’ve just had a termination due to HG. It was my third HG pregnancy and I just couldn’t do it. It’s so so hard and I feel so terrible about my decision especially and we were actually trying for a baby. It affected my health so much this time round though! I just couldn’t cope. Couldn’t look after my 3 children or even get out of bed. Was hospitalised twice already at 7 weeks. I hope you are ok and have found a solution. Remember its your body and your choice. We are the ones that have to go through such an awful awful time x

      1. Claudia

        Holly, I took great comfort in your reply as I felt like you may be the only person to understand. I am 6.5 weeks pregnant and have spent the last week and a half in bed. Everything makes me sick, even when I have nothing left to be sick I will spend hours just urging into the toilet. I have booked into a clinic to have a termination and I feel so terribly heartbroken about it. This was a planned pregnancy, with my husband and was meant to be a sibling to my 2 year old. I can’t believe this is happening but I just cannot go through this again. I had numerous hospital visits during my last pregnancy and I see this going the same way.

        1. Amy

          Hi Claudia, hoping you see this as I wanted to ask how you are feeling about your choice 1 year later. I’m am 4 weeks pregnant with my second and the symptoms are starting (had hg with first). I have ptsd and am not sure what to do. I fear I will regret an abortion down the line. But am not sure I can survive being pregnant with a two year old to care for… would love to hear how you feel 1 year later. Thank you

      2. Lyla

        Hiya I am having the same problem as you did, it’s my third pregnancy and I feel I can’t cope this time, been in hospital twice on IV fluids and as we speak I am waiting for a nurse to call as I’m going back in. I decided to have a termination which is next week, but it’s really started to play on my mind

      3. Sharmin

        I had a termination at 13 weeks 4 days,just last week.Now going through severe depression and guilt.I tried,I honestly tried but the vomiting was uncontrollable and I was losing my mind

        1. Lori

          I’m currently 9 weeks, 5 days. With my first pregnancy that was unexpected & I also have HG.

          I’ve been really sick and also have had two trips to the hospital. Last night I was on IV fluids and anti nausea fluids. Been vomiting up blood now for two days. I’m sore and I’m sick. Can hardly leave the house. I can’t keep food down at all. I’m organising a surgical termination this week, as it’s just made me really really unwell and I genuinely hate being pregnant. I am looking forward to reclaiming my body as my own. Has anyone felt the same?

          1. Dyla

            Me. I honestly want to get the old me back. I really wanted to fall pregnant but never thought was possible . I’m put on zofran and 2 other meds and after reading the risks of zofran I cut it and I am back to feeling miserable. I feel like taking the risk of birth defects is selfish even though the doctors say it is minimal. I’m on my 8 th week and considering abortion. We told some family members but at the moment I don’t care . All I want to do is have my old self back.

          2. Amber

            Yes. I got hg with my last pregnancy. I knew something was wrong because I didnt feel that way with my other two pregnancies. I went to the hospital because I was so dehydrated. I couldnt keep food or any liquid down I honestly felt like I was dying and nobody understood. My mom thought it was “normal “. I ended up terminating at 7 weeks. And I went back to normal that same night and was able to eat and I felt so much better. I am currently pregnant again with hg at 6 weeks. I have scheduled a termination in 2 days. Then I am getting my tubes tied. Hg is the worst thing I have ever been through and I dont want to be sick another day.

      4. Rosie

        I am in your same situation.
        3rd pregnancy and just couldn’t do it.
        However now I am SO sad and filled with regret. How are you coping? Does it get better?
        This child was planned and wanted. I feel like a failure because I just wasn’t strong enough.

        1. Katie

          I have just had a termination with my 4th baby and 3rd hg pregnancy. How long did the sickness take to go away I am on day 2 after mine now and still being sick in the mornings and feeling really sick

        2. S

          Rosie, I was in exactly same situation,third hg baby and ended it. I feel so much regret now. The guilt has gone but I feel so bad I got through it for my other 2 but lasted 10 days for this poor one (4 admissions to hospital and lost a stone in this time). I hope you find peace, I think I know the pressure you were under. I couldn’t bear to be away from my kids in the end but now cant stop thinking what this third one would be like,how they would fit in with them x

          1. Annette

            I’m so grateful for these stories. For the past 6 months I’ve felt so alone and like no one understand what I’ve been through. When I found out I was pregnant, it was because I was violently ill. Within about a week I was hospitalized, unable to drink even water in substantial amounts to stay hydrated, let alone eat food. When I basically stopped urinating I went to the ER. They did a blood test and my pregnancy hormone levels were 5x that of a typical pregnant woman in her trimester. They hooked me up to an IV with Zofran fluids. That’s when I really got scared, because I didn’t feel much better. After that, I was essentially bedridden. I couldn’t walk my dog around the block. I slept with my Zofran beside my bed. One night I ran out of Zofran and came terrifyingly close to a mental breakdown. I was inconsolable, frantic, and scared. Zofran was quite literally keeping me alive. I took it 3x per day just to keep down applesauce and saltine crackers. I wondered if I would survive, keep my job, my relationship, would my fetus be healthy? I chose to terminate they pregnancy which was not an easy decision. I always pictured myself being a mother and still want to be. I don’t regret it, but its not something I don’t celebrate, either. I’m grieving. It almost feels like HG took my choice from me.

        3. C.lee

          Reading these in tears because it’s like reading something I wrote. I never felt more alone until reading these I didn’t think anyone knew what I was going through and that I was the only one who is feeling like a failure because I couldn’t handle the Hg but want a baby so badly. My two daughters would love a new sibling and my fiancé was devastated when I made up my mind that it was just to much for me to handle I felt like there was no way I could make it 8 more months like that. it breaks my heart that I can’t give that to them And I don’t have anyone to talk to so finding this was needed. I Am happy with my decision only because the next day I was a whole new person. I felt like myself again I could eat sleep and take care of my house and my kids But now every night when I lay in bed I think about what could have been and it hurts. I hope the baby fever I’m still experiencing goes away I don’t know how Much longer I can go to bed crying and hide how I’m feeling.

          1. Tiauna

            Same here. I just recently terminated due to HG. And now all I can think about is having a baby.

        4. Natasha

          I saw your post just today and whoever you are, far away from where I am, I send you love and hope that you are doing ok. With this epidemic all over the world, I hope you are safe and finding some loving peace that can sometimes be very hard to hold after this experience.

      5. Amber

        Don’t feel bad about any decision you make I’m currently going through the same thing and I cannot wait to get the procedure done there’s nothing worse than feeling helpless depressed and completely ill to the point where you feel like your body is being turned inside out. Hg Is the worst thing that could ever happen to a person I think it’s worse when you go into a hospital ready to do anything and begging for some sense of relief and they go oh no it will hurt the baby and you’re completely helpless and desperate for even one minute of relief to feel like a normal human being. Hg has completely turned me off pregnancy. I never want children unless I adopt !

      6. Jessie

        Hi, currently 6 weeks pregnant with my 5th and I am absolutely miserable. All 4 of my other pregnancies were just as terrible. When I found out this time I literally broke down. I can’t do this a 5th time. My husband says if I abort he will leave me. I can’t even function for our 4 other children and feel guilty that I fantasize about a miscarriage. I wish I had a magic wand.

    2. Amy

      This is my first pregnancy and was 100% planned. Me and my partner were so happy when we found out as he had leukaemia as a child and we were unsure if he would be fertile or not! I started feeling sick around 6 weeks which progressively got worse to the point I could keep anything down and could no longer stand to get to the bathroom to vomit. I was taken into triage and given anti sickness injections, tablets and hours of IV fluids, felt great…. until I got home and it started all over again! I am now 10 weeks and this has been constant! I can’t leave the house, I have zero energy, zero appetite and when I do feel up to eating something it just comes straight back up! I feel like I can’t take care of myself. The panic attacks started one night after I had gone to sleep crying about no longer wanting to feel like this! Now every night without fail I wake with a panic attack! My partner is at a loose end as to what to do to help me. I have become so upset and miserable constantly which in turn had turned to depression, where I sit crying for hours while he is at work. Termination has crossed my mind so many time but I just don’t know what to do!!

    3. Rachel Smith

      I’m 6 or so weeks pregnant. I have severe sickness and the only thing that allows me to eat or even THINK about eating is smoking a small amount of Marijuana out of a water pipe with a carbon filter on it. I know I sound like a terrible person for even saying this. But it has helped me a lot. I have heard many stories of women having healthy children after. May God have mercy on us all.

      1. Madi

        Weed helped me have an appetite, but was a double edged sword I’d I coughed. It didn’t always help but was the most natural thing I had that worked. My nephews are brilliant and my sister too smoked with them because of her extreme sickness. You do what you can to make yourself feel better to keep on

      2. Robin Marie

        I love your submission. God have mercy on us all….So true…

    4. Mirah b

      I had 2 hg pregnancies. I had to terminate 3 rd in 2000. So sick. Nothing worked. Offered Zoltan but too scared to try it. I would have needed to take it 4 times a day from week 5 on. Scared of birth defects. Now saying no risks of birth defects from Zoltan. Feel very sad.I

    5. Briana Porter-Brown

      I really needed this story I’m seven week suffering been iv didn’t help can’t cope with pain or anything looking at decision and none of medicines obgyn has given me is helping I can’t eat or drink n I’m literally dying inside

  12. OB

    I recently terminated my 3rd HG pregnancy. And I feel so incredibly guilty about doing it. I got pregnant with and IUD. I was in a very similar situation to yours for weeks I was in and out of the hospital. My husband didn’t know how to help me.
    I couldn’t care for myself or my 2 sons.
    I couldn’t walk or eat, I was beginning to look very sickly.
    Pale skin.
    40lbs down.

    I had my abortion at 13 weeks! I fully intended to have this baby which turned out to be a girl (NIPT test). My OB told me the day I made my decision to terminate. When I told her my decision she gave me medication that helped make feel a little better. Better then I had felt for the last several weeks. I wonder why she didn’t give it to me sooner seeing how bad I had been suffering. Turns out my insurance wont cover it and it too expensive out of pocket. Its only been a few days since the abortion but I can’t bring myself to throw away my ultrasound photos or anything from the pregnancy. I feel fine physically but mentally I’m broken. I feel like my body failed me and maybe it would’ve gotten better if I waited a little longer.

    1. Leah

      Just got back from the clinic. I have one 19 year old and then this. HG was so relentless and I had to make the choice to terminate. I feel bad about it of course but life isn’t always easy and unfortunately I was blessed with fertility but when it comes to pregnancy my body really sucks at it. And I’m ok with that. I will be ok with it. I’m going to accept that my one child is it for me and live my life in the most selfish way I can. Live it for me! It took me a while to get to this place of peace but I’d rather die alone and childless than endure the beast that is HG for 9 months

    2. Golden

      I’m exactly the same as you, two boys, fell pregnant on the coil and terminated due to HG I just couldn’t cope. I was 9 weeks so too early to tell the sex, I have always dreamt of having a girl and at first this baby felt like a blessing and such a gift, then the hg took control and having had such a rough ride previously in pregnancy with it and getting I’ll again so quickly I felt I had no choice, mine was terminated in September and I still feel haunted by it, wishing I had had the strength to carry on with it… my body feels it should be pregnant and there is a hole in my heart from it x

    3. Isabel

      That last sentence really hits me because I’m thinking of termination has well but I feel like I’d end up depressed and thinking if the “what if’s”

  13. Danni

    This is my 3rd HG pregnancy. I’m so happy I found this page. Reading all of the women’s comments have taken some of the guilt I feel inside for wanting to terminate this pregnancy and or wish for a miscarriage. I was actually finished having kids, but my husband doesn’t have any children and really wants a child that we can share so I’ve given in. Assuring him that I’m Not going through this again and in fact tying my tubes. He got upset because he says I’m trying to make a permanent decision. He doesn’t understand what this feels like. I’m really considering terminating the pregnancy and just telling people I had a miscarriage. I know it’s not the honest thing to do, but no one near me understands how horrible I feel. I want to make sure my children here get to continue to experience good fun with me. Not watch me be sick all of the time.

    1. shalonna F

      danni omg I feel the same way you do im 12 weeks and I have been so miserable. I thought I wanted this baby but I cant stop crying im sick all the time and I just can’t help but ask myself do I wanna go all the way through with this. I had one abortion 20yrs ago and i promised myself and God that ill never do it again. I’m at a point where I just wanna be selfish and say the heck with it I will just adopt one day tie my tubes and give up having a child of my own.

    2. Dee

      Hey Sharmin I’m in the same boat I was pregnant with baby #4 and had HG with all my other 3 pregnancies and I made it through. But this 4th was really hard and I had an abortion at 6weeks 5 days. I’m really regretting it now and I’m really depressed about it. Hugs to you

    3. Lori

      I honestly can really relate to this comment. I don’t know how to go about it either. But the HG has caused so many issues for me already. I am feeling for you

      1. Liz

        I don’t know if this thread is still active, but I am reading this whilst crying my heart out in bed. My husband is downstairs with our 2 children. For the past 3 weeks, I have suffered with hg again for the third time. I wanted this pregnancy, I wanted my children to have a sibling, but I wasn’t strong enough. I couldn’t take it anymore and had an abortion 2 days ago. At first I felt relief, I could finally eat and drink again. But today, all I feel is regret. I feel like a monster. Why couldn’t I do it? I’d done it twice before. What sort of mother does this? Does it get any easier please anybody, I know I had to make this choice for my health but I hate what it’s done to me

        1. Donna

          Hi, I’m also in the exact same situation. I also have two children and recently fell pregnant and couldn’t go through with it due to the extreme sickness only two days ago for me. I’m now deeply sad and are feeling the exact same way as you 🙁 I don’t know if it will get any easier. I really now feel like I wanted another baby but just couldn’t possibly see myself getting through it this time round

        2. Jennie Hampton

          Hi, I just terminated my 3rd hg baby. Feel awful and deeply regret it but at the time I could not handle hg a minute longer. I have 2 boys but huge gap of 11 years so wanted my youngest to have a closer sibling bond. Now I considering can I do it again ?? Madness

    4. Isabel

      My s/o suggested for me to say I had a miscarriage again but a part of me just feels like speaking the truth and saying that I had to terminate due to my health. Because in reality it’s true. I’m starving (literally) , and with my other health problems I can’t afford to risk all of this any longer

  14. Renee

    As I sit in my bathroom laying over the toilet, I’m crying because I found this page. I’m currently 6 weeks. The last few weeks have been a nightmare. I’m nauseas from morning til night. I can’t even get rest, because I’m waking up in the middle of the night with sharp stomach pains and constantly dry heaving. My heart is racing 24/7 and even my long time anti depressant isn’t helping me. I cry constantly because I’m so hungry and I just can’t get any food down. I’m down to about 82 pounds now and I just feel hopeless. I’m just sitting here thinking that I cannot do this. I’m so stressed out, and at this point I have no idea what else to do. Reading all of your stories is helping me so much right now. You’re all such strong women and I send all of you the best.

    1. Nee

      I blame the drs and lack of empathy towards my cry for help. I was 30 and pregnant very unexpectedly. I was so happy. 4 weeks pregnant and couldnt sleep, drive, walk, eat, talking would trigger 4 hours of dry heaving. I would text my partner even though he was sitting beside me. I was bedridden completely. Every day EVERYDAY I’d be in the hospital. The drs were horrible saying this is just pregnancy NO IT ISNT! I’ve been pregnant before you moron. If this was a normal pregnancy I’m certain all women would rip out their uterus. Anyways they gave me meds which DIDNT DO ANYTHING except cause me SEVERE constipation. So bad I had 4 failed enemas, multiple failed laxatives. My feces built up so bad from the meds I was rushed to a hospital because the poop was backing up well past my intestines, I had z fever, excessive sweating and severe nausea. After this my fiance got a vasectomy. End of story. Blessings to all the poor girls going through this. Theres not enough help. These drs need to take us seriously here. I blame them for everything I endured. They refused to hook me up with specialist or try multiple medications infact I was never told anything about taking a b vitimin. Maybe that would have altered my life.

  15. Muki

    I am currently 13 weeks and a few days. I have HG and my life feels like its fallen apart. I am so sick all the time. Nauseas all day. I recently moved in with my mother, im 21, she keeps saying its not gonna work. That i have to find motivation and get back on my feet. Its not just that i lack motivation, i physically feel like im dying and im so depressed because of it. I cant eat. I cant drink water. Everytime i do eat or drink, i expect to throw up within the hour. Im scared to live like this and cant even imagine being a mom. I think about suicide a lot, which also scares me. I cant get an abortion, i dont have money or a car. Im trapped in this situation. Trapped in a body that doesn’t feel like my own.

  16. Makenzie

    I was diagnosed with HG around 10 weeks and was in the hospital for fluids and nausea medication…..right now I think I’m about 13 weeks and my medication stopped working….I had an abortion before this pregnancy because my first born son was having medical issues and I couldn’t deal with the stress of pregnancy during that time…I have 2 kids and my husband is in the navy gone all the time….this is my first pregnancy with HG, I’m starving and so dehydrated that I’m thinking about terminating this pregnancy and getting my tubes tied, I’ve been trying to convince myself I can just get through it but I’ve come to terms that I can’t physically take care of my other kids while having HG. Ive already told family and friends on social media i was pregnant because we were so excited so I’m heartbroken and don’t know what to tell people about my decision to end it. I feel guilty and weak. I feel like my body decided for me that I can’t have this baby even though I want it. I feel defeated

    1. Kayla

      This is me right now! ?

      1. Angie

        Please don’t give up on yourself I feel the same way Im going thru it too Im 5 weeks no man will ever understand what we endure as a women do what best for you. Reach out to the resources you have in your area…. planned Parenthood assist in funding if you can openly be honestly about your financial situation to them over the phone after you set up your appointment.

    2. Chantel

      I feel you hun me too Im 7 weeks pregnant and I was really happy when I found out but soon as this terrible sickness came I’m unable to take care of my 2 babies my boyfriends tells me to get up and stop being lazy if only he could understand the pain and sadness I’m going though I been on bed rest unable to leave the house this nausea is the worst I feel like Everyday is a feeling I’m dying and I want to drink water so bad but it comes right out haven’t eaten for 2 weeks and drank very little sips of Gatorade I feel like I’m just making it through the day I’m depressed and really sad I just don’t think I will survive if I continue to keep this going and I’m so esrly in my pregnancy I scheduled an in clinic abortion I’ll be 8 weeks I pray god forgives me i don’t think I can keep living the next 5 months of this sickness this is the very worst by far and at the moment I’m wanting water so badly but I know I would not be able to keep it down ?

    3. Katherine

      I feel your pain. My meds for HG stopped working around 12 weeks and I felt so incredibly helpless… even with the meds I could barely function at 20%. I am now around 17 weeks and for the past week or so the meds have been working again! So much hope when I have a good day or two… and then today I feel terrible again. I hope your meds start working soon! And anyone whose doctor won’t give you any meds, you can try unisom and B6 over the counter (it helps a little) but I would say change doctors until someone will prescribe you something because it can really help.

  17. Carrie

    I’m glad I found this. I am going through my 3rd HG pregnancy. It is actually better then my first two which I have two boys from. However I am loosing weight and my energy is zero. I need to lay down for an hour after just having a shower. On top of that the endless horrendous nausea is killing me. I’ve not been out the house for a week. My kids are going crazy stuck at home and I can’t even play with them. The last two times I could not even hold fluids down. This time I can hold a small amount, enough to get by. I haven’t found a medication that touches the nausea, and they all leave me feeling like I can hardly function. I’m 8 weeks and just broke down to my husband and said I don’t know if I can continue. If I terminate I won’t go through this again. I think I’m okay with that, I wanted more kids so much but right now I just want to enjoy and be there for the ones I have. I feel like I’m failing them. Everyday with each I’ve wished for a miscarriage, even though I know the love I have for them when they are here is endless and I’m so thankful for them. I just don’t know if I can survive this a third time.

    1. Aphat

      Hi Carrie. I am exactly like you. Every single word and situation. How are you now? Have you made a decision?

    2. Tefa

      I experienced the same thing with my 8 year old son. I was hospitalized almost every other day. Lost so much weight and I have aborted 2 pregnancies because of it. No one understands. I feel God knows your heart.

      1. Maryann

        Hello. I am currently 11 weeks pregnant and am suffering from HG as well with all the same symptoms as everyone else is having. It is extremely hard dealing with. Feeling like your a different person but in your body. It’s really tough mentally and emotionally as well as physically of course. I have two little ones at home who I cannot interract with st all due to HG. I have been thinking about terminating as well because I so desperately want to feel like myself again and be able to be here for my two children. I am not sure I can go on much longer living like this. My question for you who have terminated due to HG, how soon did you feel back to your normal self after terminating ?

        1. Sara

          I am about 10 weeks pregnant,this is our unplanned pregnancy I made appointment for abortion when I was about 4 weeks pregnant,but I changed my mind and decided to keep this baby.But I am terribly sick 24 hours,my head is always dizzy and dehydrated all the time specially at night.I have 2 boys already I was not feeling the same how I am now.I spoke with my GP and midwife they are not doing anything.But I can’t tolerate any more of this I feel like my life is ended now.I made appointment again for abortion ,it’s after couple of days I am regretting now I am doing wrong or right .I halve a feeling of committing a sin .but I don’t have any option.My partner is supporting me but he is not saying much about it,I wish he could understand my pain and speak to me to lighten my stress.After reading all the comments I feel so relief that I am not alone.

    3. Alyssa

      I’m reading your story in tears ,I’m suffering luckily my daughters 13 and she helps me but I really feel like a failure it’s the summer and I can barely leave the bed long enough to make her a home cooked meal ,I haven’t worked in 3 weeks ,I’m at my breaking point of just considering termination at 9 weeks .I believe more awareness needs to bought to this condition, therefore woman can get the proper support and help during this time .Hopefully you do what works for you I totally understand.Good luck

    4. Maya

      I’m 11 weeks & been sick with hg since 5 weeks. This is my first pregnancy and I’ve had suicidal & abortion since about 7 weeks. I finally mentioned abortion to my mom & boyfriend but my mom says I’m weak if I go through with it. I don’t know what to do. I feel as if my body is rejecting the baby. I heard the heartbeat for the first time this week & instead of joy I was sad because I’m hoping for a miscarriage since abortion seems out of question. I cry everyday because I feel like I’m selfish for these thought. I don’t know what to do.

      1. Angela

        I am on my second attempt for pregnancy, I had a termination last year because of HG, however I wanted to give it another try and get myself mentally and physically prepared. I’m 10 weeks now and abortion in 3 days already booked. I can’t take it no more and feel very weak person. I feel judged by family. I am 37 years old and I will never try again to be a mom cause I am traumatised, yet so scared to end up lonely for not having kids.

    5. Leah

      Oh girl I feel ya! Everyone want to say Zofran/Ondansetron is the answer but it caused such horrible constipation that I had to stop taking it. The constipation was worse than the nausea (well, maybe not that bad but it was horrible!). I’m okay with my one and done.

  18. Serina

    My heart breaks when reading this story and the comments. All such strong women. I too, have HG. Tomorrow will mark my 12th week of pregnancy. Me and my partner live in Europe and have the privilege of affordable healthcare. I was admitted to hospital in week 7, after ‘just’ two weeks of severe HG. I was taken seriously, prescribed medication and recieved IV’s to get my strength back. After four weeks of 3weekly IV’s, I was no longer dehydrated. The hospital also provided me and my partner with psychological help, as part of the treatments. My HG is still raging, but with medication and medical attention, I think I’ll be able to bare.

    My heart bleeds for every woman (and every couple) who isn’t helped properly or even not taken seriously while having to go through HG. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to have to resort to an abortion as your final option for being so, so sick. You are all heroes to me.

    Serina, the Netherlands

    1. Jane Smith

      I am going through the same heartbreak. I can’t keep anything down and anti nausea meds come right back up. I tried to hang in there but I have two kids who need me. I feel torn and in a dark place not many understand or relate to. Vomiting til my nose bleeds and seeing stars. I’m just so sad and feel guilty. After this I want to runaway from my partner.

    2. Alyssa

      ,Luckily your in the Netherlands I’ve read the United States is the only country that doesn’t take HG seriously.Good luck with your pregnancy ??

  19. Destiny

    I will be 10 weeks on Wednesday & I have HG. I’ve recently been thinking about abortion because I cannot eat or drink anything without it coming back up. I’ve been to the hospital they gave me fluids & prescribed me phenegren. Phenegren makes the middle of my stomach hurt but my doctor said it was normal. I do have a one year old but with all the pain & discomfort I am in I cannot take care of her. Which is really breaking me because she needs me. I’m a single parent & im just lost right now.

    1. Sophia

      I hope everything turns out well for you. I am at 11 weeks i wanted to keep the baby despite my partner leaving me at 8 weeks preg. I was diagnosed by HG last week and have lost a total of 8kgs in three weeks. Everything i eat or drink makes me vomit.. even with ondansetron and cyclizine. I vomit more than ten times a day. I am weak, hungry, tired, frustrated. I am a nurse and i know i will need IV fluids soon. Many other of my systems will be affected; i only urinate once a day now due to extreme dehydration. Nobody wants to believe me and keeps saying its all part of pregnancy! I have decided to terminate the pregnancy Because i am unable to support for myself if i got bedridden for the next six months. I am just on a working visa. Please know that you are not alone in this situation. Talk to a GP, see ur options. Your health comes first!

    2. Nakita Black

      I just lost my baby to hg 2 days ago I feel numb and the pain was just too unbearable. I feel sad and I wanted to keep the baby very very much words cannot explains but you are not alone. We are not alone.

      1. Ashley

        I had HG with my 2nd pregnancy. At 19 weeks lost the baby and am very heartbroken about it. As difficult of a pregnancy it was we planned for that baby. We wanted that baby. I would go through being hospitalized and getting the IV & the Zoufran all over again just to have my baby back ? I’m barely finding this page now after I suffered for so long trying to find mamas that we’re going through the same thing. I feel like Kaiser is the worst hospitals that DO NOT take the situation seriously. All my concerns and symptoms were pretty much ignored. No one understands unless they’ve been through it themselves.

  20. Mildred

    I can’t believe, that there is no research for the cause of this condition and not even effective medications to control these horrendous. severe, unbearable and killer symptoms.
    Glad to find this forum. Had all kind of horrible symptoms a pregnant woman could had.
    Survived 1/7 pregnancies with HG, 4 terminations and 2 miscarriages
    Last week my last termination, and I feel devastated, I had panic attack after not eating or drinking for 12 days, no medication worked and they wanted to feed me through a tube, blood levels dropped docs last 3 days fixing my blood, with a painful treatment. Panic took over me at 8 weeks and gave up. Did not had the luck to find a good positive doctor, like the one I found in pregnancy#6 plus HG was less severe than all the others pregnancies. We planned all our pregnancies, we wanted to have at least 3 children, but HG ruined our dreams. Today I only have one Son 4yrs old, pregnancy #6 asking for a sibling today. I was hospitalized most of time, thanks to my angel doctor, I had all kind of IV medications through a pic line which is a cord inside veins up to my heart for the horrendous nausea plus daily IV fluids until 16 weeks, when nausea became less strong even though I hardly could brush my teeth, full of cavities and lost calcium,teeth discoloration plus digestive problems. I was able to eat small meals during the rest of pregnancy. Did accupumture and hypnosis, fought like a champion I was determined to see my miracle baby born after 8 years of marriage and no kids friends and family asking why no kids yet, and finally we have our son. Ms Nausea last one month after bird.
    My advice, to you HG mothers, wait to see if any medication work before deciding termination and I believe that if you close to 10 weeks is very likely HG will get weaker and you might tolerate the nausea and will vomit less. I never reached 9 weeks with any of my TOP or miscarriages.
    Have someone positive by your side, it will help a lot, make sure you hold a baby object and focus in the future for those first time moms

    1. Andrea

      I’m 7 weeks today and I’m calling tomorrow to schedule a termination. It was a much wanted pregnancy but the 24/7 sickness the past two weeks has been unbearable. I can’t sleep and definitely haven’t been able to function. I was in the ER Friday where they tried IV fluids, potassium, B-6, zofran, reglan and none of those touched my nausea. I begged my OB office the day before for help and they couldn’t get me in for another few weeks.

      A part of me feels like a monster because it’s something my husband and I are completely against, but he’s supportive of what I need to do to get back to feeling 100%. I know there will be some regret but someone can only bear to be miserable for so long. It’s nice to find a forum where there’s a support system and we don’t have to feel alone.

      1. JJ

        I am going through the same thing at the moment with HG. I have 3 boys already and this would be my 4th. I am 10 weeks at the moment. I went to the ER over a week ago and got IV fluids and a strong anti-naseau med through IV. I felt 100 times better than i had in weeks. They prescribed me a medicine called Diceglis and it is for women with HG and OMG it is a miracle drug. Insurance does not cover it in my case because it is so expensive but it is an option if you talk to your GP or an emergency room doctor. It is a fairly new drug and there is no generic brand yet, hence why its so expensive. I still feel a little tired but that is expected with pregnancy. I wish the best for you all and hope you find reliefe no matter your decision on how you obtain it.

      2. Kay

        At least your husband is supportive in your decision my husband is desperate for a baby and I just can’t go through with it I’m way too sick and depressed not excited about it not sure if I will ever be able to give him a baby I feel better now about my decision after reading your story

        1. Dee

          My husband wasnt supportive when I brought up abortion but he told me he understood. So I had an abortion at 6 weeks 5 days and now he wont speak to me he is very mad. This would have been our 4th child together.

          1. Sad

            It’s been 4 years and I cry like it happened yesterday at times.

  21. A-Z

    I’m so hurt after termination the day before my birthday January 6,2019

  22. Alexandra

    I am pregnant for the third time thanks to IVF using a donor egg and sperm. The first two pregnancies ended in a miscarriage. I’m an older woman, and this pregnancy will be my last time trying. I was excited that with three attempts, I managed to get pregnant each time. Currently, I’m a little past 11 weeks, and I’ve been dealing with nausea since 2 days past the embryo transfer. However, it didn’t get debilitating until about 4 weeks ago. I have HG. In that time frame I have become very dehydrated requiring IV fluids 3x. Technically I should’ve been hospitalized last time, but wasn’t. I’ve lost 10-12 pounds (~8%) of my prepregnancy weight. I have missed multiple days of work. If I am able to drink 12 ounces or eat more than 100 calories in a day, it’s a miracle. Some days I get nothing down. In addition i have a history of severe depression and anxiety which was under reasonable control with medications. However, due to the nausea and vomiting, i had to come off of all of my medications abruptly which has led to a major downhill spiral in my mood. I’m single, and i haven’t been able to interact much with people. At this point, I find it extremely difficult to take care of myself. I am contemplating an abortion, because I am finding it impossible to continue like this. But I can’t seem to make a final decision, and time is ticking. Part of me keeps hoping and praying that the decision gets taken out of my hands and I miscarry again. All of that being said, my gut is telling me to end the pregnancy for my own health which makes me feel guilty and ashamed. It’s interesting. I have no trouble understanding anyone else who has to make this decision, and I’m very supportive. But I can’t seem to allow myself to make this decision. Part of that is because I’m not sure if I will ever be able to move on with my life if I abort this child.

    1. HOLLY

      How are you? I understand what you’re going through x

      1. Alexandra

        I finally decided to terminate my wanted pregnancy last week. Im trying to come to terms with my decision and the loss of my dream along with my baby.
        Thank you for asking and understanding.

        1. Kayla

          How long did everyone feel better after termination? Sickness wise

          1. Sharmin

            Within 24 hours.

        2. Olga

          Dear Alexandra,
          You are not alone with this. I also had to terminate my first and sadly the last pregnancy due to extreme nausea, which become unbearable after the 6th week. Sadly at 9th week I aborted. After few months I started to blame myself for being weak and selfish. I regretted my actions, but then again if I had go through this again it would probably end up the same. Thank you for this forum .

          1. I have had 3 abortions due to severe hyperemisis. To all the girls on here going through the same thing, stay strong and don’t beat yourself up. It’s so hard and our bodies know what’s best for us! Much love x

    2. Tshepi

      I’m going through the same situation. I can’t keep up at work, I’m depressed always sick. In and out of doctor’s office but nothing works. Im now on treatment for kidney infection and I can’t keep food or water to help with the treatment. I work far from home and my partner doesn’t support the idea of terminating. I’m depressed and scared that I might even die from this pregnancy.

      1. Jas

        I’m so sorry you are all going through this, how are you all doing now?
        I am only 7 weeks and have HG also, suffering so badly that I’ve made my first abortion appointment for the 7th. I had a miscarriage about 2 years ago so all of this is terribly distressing but I can’t eat or drink anything and the constant nausea is killing me. I haven’t left my flat in over a week and I’m starting to feel so isolated and alone like I really can’t cope. Just wanted to see if by some miracle any of you ladies were feeling any better?
        Sending big hugs x

  23. Abigail

    I’m 11 weeks pregnant and have arranged to book an appointment for a surgical termination (awaiting a date). I fell pregnant the exact same time last year and I suffered HG, I had a termination and for a few days it felt great to feel like myself again. It was only a week later that reality hit me and I was left filled with regret. My husband and I tried again all year, thinking that next time would be different, I found out I was pregnant the same time as I had previously and we were so happy. It was when I got to 5 weeks that the same daunting feelings hit me again. My husband had lost his job in my last pregnancy from staying off to look after me and he’s been the same this time. I was admitted to hospital a few days ago with dehydration and was prescribed phenergan after attempts with cyclizine and ondanzeteon failed to stop me vomitting. HG is causing so much strain on my life, my mental state and my marriage and a termination feels like the only way out and to get myself back. I’m crying out for help and health professionals just don’t listen! It’s so draining and frustrating and I know I’ll feel better physically after but then I’ll be in the same emotional state :-(. I’m 20 years old and I know that all my pregnancies will be like this, will my husband and I ever be able to have a family? It’s putting so much strain on us…

    1. Alex

      I completely understand what you’re going through and most of the women who have shared. It’s a very heart wrenching decision to make, ending a pregnancy for what most people call “just morning sickness.” If you haven’t been through it, you don’t really understand. I’m doing this alone, and this is my last chance to have a child given my age. There just doesn’t seem to be enough knowledge or understanding of HG, and the only way some people seem to understand a little bit is by telling them to think of Kate Middleton. I’m considering terminating this pregnancy that I tried so hard for. My gut decision is to end it. I’m between 11 and 12 weeks now, and I feel as though I need to make a decision soon. My physical and emotional health aren’t good due to the HG, and I’m beginning to get neurological symptoms which I’m concerned will be permanent if I continue. The risk to the baby is also great, and it’s higher given my age and the fact that I have another complication with this pregnancy as well.
      I’m glad that I found this group. Of note, there is a HG support group, and they have forums, books and other information. Unfortunately, i think my symptoms are too advanced for me to go on like this.
      I’m sorry that you are going through this as well. I wish you all the best.

      1. mirah

        Hi. I have 2 girls. I had hg with the second. I got pregnant again and at 5 weeks vomiting every 20 minutes 24 hours a day. I had ptsd memories from 2nd pregnancy. Pic lines, nurses, hospitalizations, weight loss, headaches, depression. Approved medicines did not work. Too scared to try Zoltan. Abortion at 8 weeks. So much sadness. Why didn’t I try Zofran. It might have worked. Scared of risks. I wish I would have tried Zolfran. I carry around regret. Lucky to have my 2 girls. I have tried to give my love to them.

        1. Kailie

          I’m 6 weeks with my second, I had hyperemesis with my first and made it full term with a healthy baby boy who I’m so grateful for. This pregnancy I am really struggling. I keep hoping to have a miscarriage but it breaks my heart even thinking thoughts like that. I’ve already done iv treatments, take zofran around the clock, absolutely nothing helps. I feel so much deep regret for getting pregnant again and feel so guilty even considering an abortion. I just don’t think I can go through with this again. I’m constantly upset because I can’t hold anything down, can’t eat, can’t enjoy my baby boy, and can’t enjoy being pregnant. I’m just so sad and feel so trapped. It’s nice to know I’m not alone, if only something could help us all from feeling this way.

        2. Dyla

          I’m prescribed zofran but the risks are so high. I’m thinking of abortion even though I fee fine with zofran but it would devastate me more if I gave birth and my baby had a birth defect. So you did the right thing. Please know that zofran has really high risks

      2. Kelly

        Hi Alex,
        I’m. So sorry to hear this. I can totally relate. . I terminated last Tuesday the day before my 40th Birthday ! This was a planned pregnancy. I was so desperate as HG was so debilitating and horrific. . My mental and physical state declined very rapidly. My partner and I are very much in love and we both care to the decision to abort. I don’t have any children and I don’t think I will after that. I was so desperate that I had suicidal thoughts daily.
        It’s now been 8 days and I feel at a loss but I know it was for the best for the baby and me. God bless you all x

        1. Deisy

          How long did it take for you to start feeling better after the termination?

    2. Rae

      I completely understand where your coming from. I go on Tue for my 5th abortion I have 2 girls first I was severely sick, 2nd I wasn’t and hubby and I try hoping each time will be like the 2nd without hg but each time I’m wrong and the hg cycle starts, bed ridden, er visits, hospital stays, no food or water and making my girls worry. This will be my last and final try at pregnancy. Even though ive never let my pregnancies get to 6 weeks I still feel such emptiness and a piece of me leaving. You think that with so many women with hg that they would find something anything to help. I feel all your pain and your all in my prayers.

      1. Moe

        I had my 5th abortion also 2 days ago. I have had 5 children and my new husband and I wanted one of our own and ive tried 5 times but can’t get past the HG. I feel like such a failure this time, we tried so hard and had a plan and it was just too much with already having little ones who need me and not being able to be there for them, especially with online school due to covid they need me even more. The pain I feel for my husband and the loss of our dream hurts me so much that I purposely push him away. He agreed to get a vasectomy though so atleast he is trying to be considerate of not wanting to cause me anymore pain…but I’ve been horrible with him since the termination and a few days before it

    3. Kay

      Sorry this is exactly what I went through and feel I wish I could talk to one of you ladies this has helped me feel better about my decision my husband is devastated I don’t know what to do he really wants a baby!

      1. Joel

        We here a 15weeks and watching my wife go through this is so damn hard.. feeling hopeless,worthless. It’s been hard not being given any real answers by doctor…we been to so many different hospitals. ER visits and it all the same…you women are all amazing and hope you all get the support we need…love you all ..today we made the decision to terminate

  24. Siah

    I had HG in my first born, was terrible.i thought may be when i have the second this will not happen to me again bad enough was even more bad than the first but i survived.i ended uplosing my pregnannce at 20wks doctor told me ts just beacause of HG i had at first trimister…am lost am in pain cant get thrue this …..

  25. Deborah Wolstenholme

    I had an abortion yesterday this would have been my 3rd pregnancy, however I had 2 hg pregnancies before and was terrified at what layed ahead !
    No one will ever understand hg unless they have it, dehydration, isolation because you can’t leave the house made me depressed!
    I feel guilt and sadness for what I have done but I couldn’t bear another hg pregnancy, I had to think of my 2 little girls and my health

  26. Sarah

    I’m currently scheduled in a few days for a surgical abortion due to HG. I managed to survive an HG pregnancy with my daughter (now five) but I cannot function at all this time around. I feel guilty for doing this to a healthy baby but I just can’t wrap my head around destroying myself in the mean time.

    I’m glad I found this thread. I have no idea how I’m going to feel this next week.

    1. Keshia

      I myself am scheduled to have an abortion Friday due to HG. I have been confined to my bed for a week, not able to eat just vomiting all day. I have 3 children that I can’t even care for due to this. I am dealing with this alone because I don’t want the judgement. Everyone around me thinks I have food poising. I wish Friday could come faster. I just want my normal life back. It sounds so selfish and I cry myself to sleep at night because of it.

    2. Renae

      I think there needs to be some sort of HG support group. I’m CURRENTLY battling with HG. I was just released from the hospital and it seems like as soon as I got home I started to become ill again! Abortion has really been weighing heavily on my mind. I don’t want to do it, but I’m also ready to be a normal person again. I’m going to really try and get through this without a trip to the clinic. This can’t be life. I feel terrible every single day. I think I’m becoming depressed because of it. Lord help!

      1. Kristin

        Thank you for sharing your story. I am 35 and a type one diabetic. I became pregnant in October 2020 but had a miscarriage in December. I was heartbroken but it was a relief to know I could get pregnant. In April 2021, I became pregnant again. My hcg levels were super high, so much higher than the first pregnancy so this was a relief. At 6 weeks, the nausea and vomiting hit hard. I could eat and drink a little but after 4 or 5 days, I was bedridden and could not keep even a sip of water down. The oral anti nausea meds did nothing especially since I couldn’t keep it down.. I went to the ER three times over a week and a half and was finally admitted. After the first admission, I was okay for a day but then I was right back to where I was before. I went two more times to the ER before my second admission. On the day of discharge, I started feeling very nauseous. The IV meds were not working as well as they had been. I found myself admitted for a third time two days after discharge. I was dehydrated, nutrient deficient, and my electrolytes were all over the place. I had lost 20lbs in three and a half weeks. My blood sugars were extremely low causing me to pass out and sleep too much. A few days into the third admission, doctors told me there is nothing more they could give me. My mom was afraid I would die if I continued. I wanted to die. I was in so much pain physically, emotionally and mentally. The doctors made the suggestion of an abortion. I was heartbroken to have to go through that. It was something I never thought I would ever have to do. From the moment I said yes to this choice, I have been heartbroken, sad, angry, frustrated, at a loss and have no hope. I wanted this baby so bad and my body would not cooperate. I did everything I could to be healthy but HG through me for a loop. I don’t know how to be okay and accept this is what happens. I was supposed to protect my baby and I did this. It is a hard pill to swallow and I don’t know how to forgive myself. I am two weeks post abortion and trying to heal physically. I lost an additional 3lbs (23 in total) and I don’t look like me. I get tired quickly and have no energy. These are all reminders of what happened. I hope one day I can forgive myself and try again for a baby without these complications.

    3. Stella

      Hi I’ve had st been through the same , I’ve had hg three times twice was the whole 9 months , thought I was dieing and was in hospital nearly the whole time , don’t know how I survived the first two! The third one I think my body was giving up, I am a Christian and prayed for relief , but sadly my body was still vomiting around 30-50 per hour pure blood and I was unresponsive due to lack of oxygen whilst vomiting ! I terminated , but now the pains not here feel total guilt like I could of tried harder ! I think maybe if you like me we’re so bad it could affect our organs and brains as also my vision has been affected , please just give it to God and forgive yourself ! No one knows the torturess pains . But I know how you feel at the time we can’t go on but after total regret ?

      1. Leah

        Ugh. Reading all of these comments just makes me feel better about terminating at 6w3d yesterday. I already feel better this morning, less than 24 hours later. The relentless nausea is gone, the need to spit out my saliva is gone, the weakness and that nasty feeling in the pit of my stomach is gone. As soon as I passed some clots everything just disappeared. I am 38 years old and have a 19 year old daughter. I do remember being sick but nothing like HG sick. Unless you experience for yourself you wouldn’t be able to understand the torture. You literally starve to death and there is nothing to help you feel better. Yeah Zolfran helps for a little while but then it doesn’t anymore and you’re left with a case of nasty constipation that may be almost as bad as the nausea itself (ok not that bad). So chemo level antiemetic medication won’t even touch this disease. It blows my mind that after billions of pregnancies we still don’t know why this happens to some unfortunate women and not others. What a shameful statistic! I wanted another child badly but I will not put myself through HG hell for it. The vomiting 20-40 times a day, constant relentless debilitating nausea, needing water and food but being unable to keep it down long enough to hydrate you, the in and out of the hospital for IV hydration, I begged them not to let me go home! You feel like you’ve fought a long, hard battle every day and the clock ticks by sooooo slowly. Day 1 of week 6, day 2 of week six….day 3 of week 6…..you mean I have to do this all over again in week 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, weeks 12 and beyond?????????? I hate that I aborted my unborn baby but I will not put myself through such torture! I love myself and I want to live to see another day. It just really pisses me off to know that we still don’t have an answer as to why. It’s not HCG like every article states. We don’t know anything about this yet? I bet if men had to suffer this way there would be an answer already. We are suffering tremendously here people! Help us

        1. I know how it feels. All of us can relate to every word said here without being judgemental cause we all fought the same battle. I know how my days went when I thought I was dying due to this sickness. Pregnancy has turned out to be a nightmare for me. The experience scared me for life. I look at my old pictures and see a happier me. Happier cause I was not in any dilemma to take any decision … With this it feels unfair so many women wanting a child can’t have a child cause it’s not just fertility that acts as a barrier. HG is highly underrated n people often mix it with morning sickness it’s worse though. It hits u hard and all u can do is just help urself out of it. Don’t let anyone tell u that u r wrong. Your body is taking all d hits and all you can do is have mercy on urself.

  27. Ramona

    Hi Susan!You are not alone I had the same problems in 2017.november?

    1. Michelle

      Hi to all you lovely women. I just have a couple of questions. Did the GPS or hospitals test your hormone levels or bloods during this time. And if so is there a commonality with any of you.
      There is not a lot of information out there to help understand why this happens

    2. Amie

      Thank you for this honest story. Women should be able to talk about it more openly. It’s the same with not being able to announce you are pregnant until 12 weeks, in case of a miscarriage. Should we be made to deal with that alone, like it is something to be ashamed of.
      I am currently 7 weeks pregnant with my first child at 33. Something I had always wanted, it was unplanned, but not unwelcome. However suffering from HG and having always suffered with mental health issues, I have decided to terminate. Its been a really hard decision. But I simply cannot afford to do it, I can’t work and there is no guarantee that HG will end any time soon. I am paying off my house alone and struggle to make ends meet as it is.
      I wish I had more support around me, I wish I could talk about it more. This has crushed my dream, and I will never try again.

      1. Stacey

        Please know you did what was right. Yesterday I had a home medical termination due to extreme HG. This would havebeen my fourth baby but the day I found out, a week ago yesterday, I started becoming exceptionally unwell. In the last week I have lost 1.3 stone, have kept nothing down and am so dehydrated. I can tell you that you have done the right thing, you have not been well enough supported by your GP. Please look after yourself now. Xxx

        1. Leah

          Actually just devastated right now after finally feeling ok and being able to eat food and keep water down today. I had HG before and it’s worse this time, as soon as it hit I couldn’t leave the house because of extreme exhaustion and uncontrollable vomiting. After a few days I could barely get around the house, couldn’t take care of myself, couldn’t work which requires me to leave the house, and a few more days of being completely debilitated and deliriously dehydrated and starving I had convinced myself that this was the only option for me because I could not survive for 2-7 more months like this. Additionally, I was using thc to help at first and it was only working ok, enough that I could eat a little bread or rice and keep it down for a couple of hours but unfortunately it’s stopped working and I couldn’t take more because even small amounts of marijuana causes me to have severe heart pounding panic attacks and I become paranoid and psychologically unwell. Something about the pregnancy hormones also had triggered depression in me which I know was made worse by not being able to eat, drink or do anything I enjoy. My life had quickly become the worst hangover ever that wouldn’t go away, all I was doing was sipping water and puking stomach acid. Basically this put me in a dark, desperate hole that I could only see one way out of. I couldn’t even get to the hospital because I couldn’t ask my husband to take care of me that way, and I didn’t want to throw up in public. My only option would have been the emergency room because the hospitals are so booked up and I still don’t have an OB. And Ive read so many stories of women being ignored and suffering for the full term. Stupid, I can’t help but think now I could have tried harder but I was so miserable that I had rationalized to myself that if I never had a child and even if my husband decided to leave me that would still be better than continuing to feel as miserable as I felt having had my life basically taken away from me overnight. I am starting to think more clearly now that I’ve had food and water and restful sleep and I can’t stop crying. I wanted to be a mom, wanted to be cute and pregnant and be able to function and feel good with my little bump and anticipation of a baby on the way for me and my husband, but I couldn’t do it and my body and mind couldn’t do it and I failed again and I know I can’t ever go through this again. It’s too difficult to deal with physically and emotionally, like I would rather die. I can’t do it.

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