Submitted by: Ja’Nai
The words that play over and over in my head… “I had 3
I never imagined this when I was younger and started my family. My first HG pregnancy, I knew something was wrong when I woke up every night throwing up, every morning throwing up and extreme nausea and dizziness. I talked to my doctor and she diagnosed me that day with HG. While on one anti-nausea medication I was able to work part-time, eat, drink and sleep. I had a healthy full-term baby boy.
My second pregnancy was HG as well. I had no insurance for the majority of the pregnancy. There were many emergency department visits where they would give me anti-nausea medication and IV fluids. Shortly after discharge the nausea would come back. I was bedridden most of the pregnancy and unable to properly care for my son. We spent most days lying in bed, while I was exhausted from the excessive vomiting. Once I had insurance, I was able to afford my medication, which helped me eat, drink and sleep. And went on to have a healthy full-term boy.
My third pregnancy was HG as well. But the horror I faced through this pregnancy, I never imagined could happened. The nausea and vomiting started around 5 weeks. Previous pregnancies it started around 6 or 7 weeks. I had scheduled an appointment with the local high-risk clinic and was prescribed the same anti-nausea medication, Zofran as my previous pregnancies. I thought it was salvation, but after a week it stopped working.
I don’t even know how many times I threw up in a day. All I can remember is that the excessive vomiting burned my insides — from the burning in my stomach, to the burning in my chest and throat. There was excessive saliva, and when I tried to swallow, I would end up throwing it up too. I threw up when I tried to eat, even when it was a tiny bite. I threw up the smallest sip of water. I had so many emergency department stays. We tried suppositories, which would put me sleep for a few hours, only to wake up throwing up. I started out 120lbs and dropped down to 86lbs. I was bed ridden, hurting and hopeless. I decided to terminate at 12 weeks.
My fourth and fifth pregnancy were very similar, except through these we added even more medications and created pregnancy plans with the doctors. But no matter what plans you make, something always seems to change them.
I had 3 abortions.
I miss my babies and wish HG never existed for anyone.