Submitted by: Sanja
I had an abortion yesterday. It wasn’t an easy decision, but the reasonable one. I keep saying that to myself.
I am single. Unemployed for couple of months already. I don’t have a place of my own. I didn’t know at the time, but the father was already married with a lot of kids. Like a lot. Seven to be precise. Plus, moved away to another continent. My family doesn’t support me, so felt like I had no choice at all. I barely had money for an abortion.
So I went and did it yesterday. I didn’t want it, but the other option was much worse. Hard and miserable life for us. I really didn’t want it. Now I feel even more alone, depressed, like no one understands me.
I do have a few great friends that literally held my hand, but they can’t help with this emptiness and guilt and regret I feel inside. I can’t look myself in the mirror, I just start crying. Part of me hopes that next time I go on check-up they’ll say that it failed and that I’m still pregnant… but yeah, that’s unrealistic.
I know it will take some time to heal. But somehow I believe I will never be the same. I am so sorry. So so sorry.