Submitted by: Keely
I don’t know where to start. I am so empty inside. I feel so sad. I had my IUD taken out a couple of months ago bc I was getting bad acne, but I do want a 3rd child.
My husband was not on board for 3rd yet, but agreeable to talk about it in next year. We were following the calendar and avoiding ovulation days. I was 2 days late and took a test. Immediately it was positive, even before I set it on the counter to time it. I just thought, “sh!t.” I called my husband and was just like “I can’t believe it. I don’t think I want to be pregnant now.”
We talked about it for a bit that night and then both agreed timing wasn’t right. We’ve moved across country twice in last year, we’re in tiny apartment in one of the most expensive cities in the US, we have a 1 year old and 3 year old, and my husband didn’t get the raise we were expecting for next year. I called planned parenthood next day, they could get me in within 20 min. I rushed there. Took the pill. I was like a robot. So calculating and logical. Since then I have been a mess. I want a 3rd baby! I want this baby. I want a time machine. Why didn’t I give myself 24 hours to think it over? Why did I just go with my initial panic reaction?
Planned parenthood was lovely, but I wish they would have forced me to wait or think about it. I was less than 5 weeks and had just taken the pregnancy test about 12 hours earlier. I am full of regret and am worried that I will never forgive myself. I wish I could got back in time & change my decision. My husband feels relief and feels that we made logical decision. He wants to get his work on track and have us settled in bigger house. He is open to trying again in 6-12 months. But will I ever get over this? Can I ever be okay with this decision?