My Dreadful Story

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Note: The Exhale Pro-Voice After-Abortion Stories Hub includes people’s stories of their experiences and emotions, exactly as they have written them in. We do not edit these stories at all, and the content that follows this message is exactly as we received it. We know that people’s experiences are complex, and these stories reflect the many emotions they may be feeling after their abortions. From relief to grief, and everything in between, and all at the same time, we’re here for you.

Submitted by: Anonymous

I found out I was pregnant because I had just missed my period 1 week ago. This was my second time after saying no to contraception. I am allergic to one of the ingredients used in them, also one of my friends got pregnant after using the IUD so I was completely terrified.

My first appointment was last week Friday at 10:30 am. I did an ultrasound, but since I was 4 weeks and a few days they couldn’t find the embryo so they had scheduled an appointment for an emergency ultrasound. When I arrived to the location I was ready to cry because I didn’t know what to expect. My first pregnancy was fine but I wasn’t mentally or financially ready, so my boyfriend understood the situation. After that I went back to the clinic, and that was were I took the first pill.

The had given me the orange box with 4 pills inside, instructions, and sent me home. The next day I placed the 4 pills between my cheeks (2 on each side for 30 minutes) then I swallowed. I didn’t get any cramps or anything so I started freaking because I read the reviews for the pills. 1 hour and 10 minutes in I immediately started puking in the bathroom mixed with cold chills. Still no bleeding, but then came the light cramping. At around 1:45 pm I started feeling like I had to use the bathroom.. instant diarrhea.

Now the cramps were getting a bit more intense ( 4/10 ). It was about at 6:45pm that I started bleeding… I did not pass big clots but they were very small so it looked very similar to a period. It has now been exactly one week from March 6th. I’m still spotting here and there but my cramps are severe. To the point that I can barely go to the bathroom myself. I had a follow up appointment yesterday but due to the fact that it was a Friday, they told me I had to wait until Monday for the results.

At this point I’m just freaking out because my cramps are so bad they make me cry and I’ve been in bed since this abortion process started. Does anybody have any recommendations, or experienced anything similar? I really need help and it’s taking a toll on me. I’m not myself lately, I’m highly depressed because I can’t work, I keep reading things on the internet trying to find anybody with similar symptoms like mine but nothing so far. My only fear of going to the hospital is because I live with my senior mom who I can’t risk getting COVID. Can I still have an ectopic pregnancy? I’m still spotting, but I’m have excruciating cramps that make me cry all the time.

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One response to “My Dreadful Story”

  1. E.

    I am so sorry you had to go through this. I have had to take pills for my body to pass 2 miscarriages and just recently had a termination, and they’ve all been terrible. I’m hoping the physical pain has taken care of itself by now, and I hope you are doing okay emotionally, as well. Hang in there.

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