Submitted by: Violet
It’s been over a year since my abortion. I’ve gone through every single emotion — grief, guilt, relief, happiness, sadness, etc.
But right now I’m feeling defeated. I feel like I lost so much. I lost the love of my life, who I could’ve had this child with. I lost myself. I lost the ability to go every day without thinking about it. I lost my happiness. I don’t know what to do.
I know the decision I made was right at the time, but I can’t help but wonder if I would be happier if I went a different route. I have no one to talk to about this. I feel So alone. I just want someone to tell me it’s going to be ok. I feel so lost but at the same time so relieved.
I need help. I don’t want to lose myself. I just want someone to talk to. I pray that anyone going through my situation will be ok one day too. We are strong. Much love to all of you. I just needed to vent my sadness.
I empathize with you Violet.
Unless you’ve been through this experience before, it’s impossible to understand fully…and even then so each experience is so distinct to us as individuals.
I have lost my child. I am in the process of losing the love of my life, I feel like I’m losing myself.
You are not alone here. I came across this sight and still have not found the courage to share my story. You are so brave and strong for sharing something so personal on her, and I have admiration for you.
We may have lost so much….but it takes so much bravery to go through all that you have, share your experience, and STILL not give up.
I am sending you my love, and telling you that if you have been able to come this far then you will be okay. I know that this will not fill in the holes in your heart, but I hope this will be one step towards mending it.
If you need anything at all my name is Claire. I hope we can help eachother and strong women through this process. Please stay safe. I hope to hear from you soon.
kherzfeld at outlook.com
Mehul Jain says
Hi Violet, you are not alone. The decisions you made were difficult – nobody makes this choice lightly. Please trust your instincts and allow yourself time to heal. I am also experiencing the loss of my baby and my relationship, sometimes it all feels like an out of body experience. I can’t always anticipate when the emotions will hit me, but when they do, I allow myself to feel them fully. Sit in the pain and I promise you will get stronger from it. I’ve also talked openly about my experience which has been incredibly comforting. I’m here if you would like to connect. My email is m.laguna1 at gmail..com. Sending you peace. -M