I made the choice of having unprotected sex, knowing its risks. Me as my teenage self right now, ignored those risks and did not think I would get pregnant (for some odd reason I thought that). My period did not come for the month and I started to worry.
I went to Target to buy my pregnancy test and took them the day after. I took the pregnancy test just to keep my mind at ease that I’m not pregnant and my period is late because of stress. I went to go check on the test and it said pregnant…
I was so scared because I knew my parents would kill me for being a teen parent. I cried and cried and cried for hours being scared of what to do on telling my parents. After I saw the results I told my boyfriend about it and he was just as scared. In my head, I thought that everything would be okay after I deal with the anger of my parents and I could be a little happy family with my baby and my boyfriend.
I was already heading out of state to visit my sister for a month, thinking that I could tell my sister and my brother-in-law that I am pregnant and need help breaking the news to my parents. However, they responded differently than I expected. They told me to get an abortion and lectured me about why I should get an abortion. I told them that I didn’t want this but my sister told me that in the past, our mom told her that if I were to get pregnant, she would make me get an abortion.
This crushed my soul and this is when I realized my whole plan was down the drain. My mom would not have listened to me about keeping a baby because she doesn’t want me to go through what she did because she had a baby at 14 years old. I knew I had no chance of winning and I was stuck.
I didn’t want to take the chance of seeing if my mom would so happen let me keep this baby for two reasons, 1) if she didn’t let me have the baby, I didn’t want to lose my boyfriend by him being taken away from me once the baby was gone, 2) I didn’t want the baby to be older and have to get a violent abortion. It tears me apart to think about the violent ways of aborting a baby and I did not want that to happen to mine.
Abortion was not my first choice and never crossed my mind, however it was the choice I would have to be making for the sake of my baby and my mental health. I was 7 weeks pregnant when I got the abortion and I did it by pill. It was a rough experience and I was throwing up and in a lot of pain. But not only did I go through the physical pain, I went through the mental pain of it all. I was depressed about my baby being gone… it hurt my heart.
I saw the tissue ball that came out of me and cried about having to flush the toilet. That was my baby and I could never have that baby back, the baby I wanted to have and raise. It has been about 3 days after my abortion and I am still so very heartbroken. I love my baby so much and will always cherish the baby. I hope the baby knows how much mommy loves them.
Submitted by: Baby’s Mommy