Submitted by: S D

Is it normal to want to go back and not go through with it?

Today is 3 weeks. 3 weeks of crying all day. Cry when I wake up. Cry throughout the day. Cry myself to sleep.

I just want to go back and not get in the car. I want to stay curled up in bed with the little kicks. And whatever complications came our way, I’m ready to fight them. I’m not scared anymore. I want to go back and not be scared.

I’m so tired of crying. And the days I actually get out of bed to go to work, I just feel, I don’t even know how to explain it. Like everything sounds so far away and I can’t focus and it’s like I’m there physically but I’m just an empty shell. Does anyone know if this gets better? I just miss it so much. And I have no one to talk to. I’m sorry if this is all over the place, my head is just all over the place.

You deserve nonjudgmental
after-abortion support.

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4 responses to “Regret”

  1. S D

    Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this and reply ❤

    Over a year bubba. A whole year of missing you. Why did I have to be scared? I’m not scared anymore bubba. I thought it would be easy because we weren’t healthy enough to keep going and I thought I was doing the right thing, but it wasn’t easy. I still miss your little kicks and even the terrible morning sickness. I don’t know why this hurts so bad. I just want to go back. I just want you back. I just miss you so much. Please come back. I love you.

  2. M

    Awe. This breaks my heart (I am tearing up reading your note). I have not had an abortion, but I was very close to having one last year… my daughter is 1 now. I can’t imagine the exact pain you are feeling – but I know the situation you were facing, and it’s no easy thing. Such a heavy decision. What you are feeling is normal. I hope you find healing <3 Know that your baby loved you so much and you are forgiven. The healing will come in time. There is freedom in healing. <3 I hope you find somebody to talk to and are able to find true healing from your pain and shame. You will be a mama again, and know that you have a beautiful angel up in Heaven and that you will always be a mama of +1 child. <3

    1. F

      I’m so so sorry for your pain. I just had my abortion 3 days ago and I would do anything to go back and undo it. It’s horrifying. I so regret it and I had every reason in the world to do it.

  3. Ella

    Sending so much hugs and support ❤️ Please know you are not alone. I had my procedure end of June and went into a deep darkness after. Fast forward to now, I have been working with a grievance counselor that specializes in this area and it has helped so much. I am proud of myself each day for working to overcome grief. Please know time will heal ❤️ We will always have them with us in our hearts. I wish that I would have been able to keep mine as well. Things will get better, what also helped me was keeping a journal and writing in it how I felt whenever I felt it. I read other stories of women who understood what I was feeling and going through as well. Sending hugs

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