Still Healing

sun setting into an ocean wave

Note: The Exhale Pro-Voice After-Abortion Stories Hub includes people’s stories of their experiences and emotions, exactly as they have written them in. We do not edit these stories at all, and the content that follows this message is exactly as we received it. We know that people’s experiences are complex, and these stories reflect the many emotions they may be feeling after their abortions. From relief to grief, and everything in between, and all at the same time, we’re here for you.

Submitted by: Erin

I had an abortion back in September, and my due date is quickly approaching. It was really rough as I was also dealing with a break up from a mentally and physically abusive boyfriend who was the father. I wanted so badly to keep my baby, but I knew it would not have been in the best interest for his/her life given the circumstances. It literally has broken my heart into pieces.

I keep asking myself if I made the wrong choice, or what if I could’ve gotten away. I know I shouldn’t, but it is so easy to lose sight of why I made the decisions I did. I knew what I wanted, but I had to do what I needed to do. It puts the biggest hole in my chest and endless tears knowing my baby would be here any day now.

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2 responses to “Still Healing”

  1. Sarah Clayton

    Hi Erin
    Sending you hugs. I had my abortion August 21st. While I also know I made the right choice for myself at the time, it’s so hard not to wonder how I would look and feel. Would it be a boy or girl. My theoretical due date is April 10th. I keep hoping once the day passes I’ll start to feel better.
    You’re not alone. I know I made the roght decision but it doesn’t mean it was easy. Be kind to yourself, give yourself grace. Loss is loss and it’s okay to be sad. We’ll be sad together.

    1. Camille

      Hi ladies I had an abortion 2 years ago. I had a very traumatic childhood and still needs a lot of healing from it. When I got pregnant I was in the most fearful state, which triggered my childhood trauma. After my abortion I developed PTSD in which I’m still recovering. In my heart I knew it was the best choice and I thanked that little spirit for crossing my path and helping realize how much I was stuck in my trauma victim hood. It’s ok to feel sad but remember to always take care of you like you’re a child yourself. Sending you both love and healing. You’re strong woman’s.

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