Submitted by: Struggling
I had my first surgical abortion at 9-weeks pregnant, 5 weeks ago.
I have a beautiful 3-year-old son. When I first learned of my pregnancy I was happy, then as the weeks went on and I started getting sick, I fell into a deep depression. Being quarantined at home with my son at the time, I stopped giving him the attention and love he deserved. I would not leave the couch and cried every moment. I looked at only the negatives like the pandemic and our financial situation.
The day after the abortion, I immediately felt regret. I felt that I could have gotten through it and made it out of my depression without making such a drastic choice. Now, I’ve had pelvic and lower back pain for 2.5 weeks. The doctors won’t take me seriously, and says that if I really had a complications I would have a fever, and that since I have no STDs it is unlikely.
I took antibiotics just in case, but I am still in pain. I also just had my first “period” that has lasted 10 days, and is unusual and more like regular blood. I am still spotting from it. The doctors will not take me seriously and I fear infertility. Has this happened to anyone? What was your recovery like?
I am also a mom to 2 small kids and made the decision to end a wanted but unplanned pregnancy out of immense panic & surprise. With zero adequate support from the planned parenthood community while I was there. It took me months to recover and begin cycling normally. I am very depressed and have tried counseling but it doesn’t help as it cannot undo my decision or go back in time. I hate to tell you that I am now dealing with secondary infertility 10 months later and about to do IVF. I have tried to post my story to warn others, but it is never approved as no one wants to hear the ugly truth of infertility post abortion. I hope this isn’t the case for you and I hope you find healing more than me.
I too had a surgical abortion at 9 weeks. Similar to you, I was overwhelmed by negative emotions when I found out I was pregnant; My struggling marriage, the fact that my husband did not want another kid, the feelings of not being a good mom to my two kids, the potential financial burden it could place on us and all the things we’d have to sacrifice. I was also at a point where all I was doing was laying on the couch and crying. The only thing that gave me any relief was the idea of not being pregnant and I stupidly acted on it. I regret it fully and the sadness overtakes me. I don’t know how to stop hating myself. Lately I’ve been focusing on all that could have been. Next week, I would’ve been 12 weeks. I would’ve been sharing the news of a pregnancy with our friends and family. My two precious boys are a daily reminder of the third baby I could’ve had. I’ve always wanted more children, gosh I was so stupid.. My husband reminds me that we did the right thing but nothing in this lifetime will ever make me believe that. It all sounds like dumb excuses for the biggest regret of my life.
The biggest gut punch has been the physical symptoms after. I didn’t bleed much after but a week post procedure I started bleeding and having worsening back pain and cramping. What a shitty reminder of what I’d done. I hated having to call the clinic to find out if these symptoms were normal. Apparently the bleeding and cramping can be expected even a month after. All I wanna do is forget it happened, it’s hard to do that with the constant reminder of the physical symptoms.
I bled for almost 6 weeks after the procedure and it’s taken almost 4 cycles for my period to return to normal. How are you feeling these days?