Submitted by: Gizel
Hi. I had my surgical abortion just 2 days ago and I feel so sad and empty even though this is the choice I wanted to make.
I’m only 21, and with the pandemic going on and how the world’s going, I didn’t wanna bring a child up into this world. I originally was going to take the pill, but was a day late due to me unable to get a ride to my appointment, and changed the dates. So I was scared and terrified when I was told I would have to do the surgery instead of the pill. I wanted to cry and scream so badly but I said okay.
They were very kind and great with me through everything and talked to me through the surgery while I was sedated and it helped. When I got home I was a wreck when no one was looking. I couldn’t look myself in the mirror without crying. I felt so sad and alone. I know this was the right choice, but I didn’t realize how much emotional turmoil I was going to feel.
My boyfriend has been a great support at trying to make me feel better but at night I just can’t sleep and feel that sadness creep in again. I feel like I’m just rambling but i don’t know why I feel so sad for a choice I know I wanted.
Kathleen says
Gizel,
You are definitely not alone and so many of us understand what you are going through. It is so many emotions. Know that we are with you and that it does get a little easier over time. Keep coming back here.
Warmly,
Kathleen
Kay says
My therapist told me that I may not be sad from the loss of “life” but loss of an idea or loss of innocence since the world isn’t as rosy as I used to think. It will get better. The first week was the worst then I go up and down. I’m hoping it will be a faint memory that I can look back on and say “I made an a very hard decision for my family but it was made out of love and I am better for it”