A Road Not Walked

a field of small orange flowers

Note: The Exhale Pro-Voice After-Abortion Stories Hub includes people’s stories of their experiences and emotions, exactly as they have written them in. We do not edit these stories at all, and the content that follows this message is exactly as we received it. We know that people’s experiences are complex, and these stories reflect the many emotions they may be feeling after their abortions. From relief to grief, and everything in between, and all at the same time, we’re here for you.

Submitted by: MC

Through reading the testimonials I’ve read and seeing that most of them are women who have gone through the process. I felt the need to write for the girl who is yet to start that journey, unsure of her decision but knows in her heart that inevitably, it is the right thing to do.

Like most of you, the news came to me on the bathroom floor a day ago in my room after having the most amazing weekend with my friends. I immediately called my friend and my beans’ father and they were both there for me. One emotionally and one both. My friend, sister really, came to take me out and after a sure confirmation of being 4 weeks in, I shattered. She held me and assured me that all will be okay and her counsel, although she was also experiencing the same anxiety for me gave me some comfort that I wasn’t alone in this.

My beans’ father felt responsible for putting me in this position but after a long conversation of the changes my life was about to face, we decided it’s best to not have our baby right now, given that our emotional, mental and physical state is not at the state it needs to be to accommodate life into our lives. He loves and supports me though and during a situation like this, one I’ve never experienced in the 21 years I’ve lived, I could say that God doesn’t give you situations you can’t handle. I’m at peace knowing that womb first conceived from a place of love.

As I prepare to go through the process, reading the testimonials and the process has helped me immensely to understand the consequences that will result there after, the things I should ideally expect and that things could result to me feeling guilty but these are just the repercussions and a pivotal moment of growth and a wake up call for me. As I type, I can feel the life inside of me, burning through the crevices of my lower tummy and with a certainty of what to do, I will honour my beans’ first 4 weeks of life. I’m not fully sure that I’ve processed all this information but I’ll take the days as they go by.

Maybe even give an update after but I just wanted any other person who stumbles through this who is experiencing what I’m experiencing to have faith in knowing that they will come on the other side stronger in heart and spirit, no matter what their decision will be. Changes are inevitable and life may not go back to what it used to be but in every moment, have faith that you are blooming through the darkness. My heart is with you and thank you for taking your time to read through this.

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after-abortion support.

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