I Won’t Forget You

no matter what happened, i love you surgical abortion can't go back

Note: The Exhale Pro-Voice After-Abortion Stories Hub includes people’s stories of their experiences and emotions, exactly as they have written them in. We do not edit these stories at all, and the content that follows this message is exactly as we received it. We know that people’s experiences are complex, and these stories reflect the many emotions they may be feeling after their abortions. From relief to grief, and everything in between, and all at the same time, we’re here for you.

They say that most women feel relief, not regret. I must be in the minority. What is the point of this regret? I can’t go back in time. I can’t bring you back.

I know that in time it will pass. I can’t seem to function right now. I can’t get anything done.
I hate seeing women with their children. The weather is getting nice, and everyone is outside with their blissful little families, and I can’t stand it.

I can already see that I made a mistake by valuing your father over you. I listened to him instead of my own heart. You deserved to live, and you would have had a decent life.

I could have managed being a single mother. I had a village, I had support from others. I didn’t need him. Why did I think I did? I resent him because he will never feel what I feel.

I don’t want to look back in 10 years and know I gave up what could have been the best part of my life.

I don’t know what I believe in anymore, but I believe you had a soul at that point, and I extinguished it, and I might be the only one who sees it that way. Please forgive me, plead my case for God if He is there and if you are among the saints. Ask Him not to punish me.

I want to see you again. Whether that is in an afterlife, or in this one. I hope to hold your future brothers/sisters in my arms. Come to me again when the time is right. Will it ever be the right time? I miss you so much. I wish you were still here, growing. You wanted so badly to grow and to live. I did not let you because I was weak.

Submitted by: Em

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7 responses to “I Won’t Forget You”

  1. Jenn

    I am a fellow woman living with regret. I am sending you so much love.

  2. Olivia

    I didn’t think anyone knew exactly how I felt right now. Thank you for your bravery in sharing. We will get through this together and never forget our angels, who are loving us from above.

  3. Robyn Rademeyer

    This is exactly how I feel and what I’m going through. It’s sad 😭😭😭💔💔 I’m hurting. It’s been 3 weeks for me. And i don’t know how I feel!

  4. jenna

    i relate to this so much. like this is exactly how i feel. thank you for sharing this, it really helped me face the emotions i needed to. you aren’t alone.

  5. Sonya

    I feel the same way. I’m so sorry you’re going through this! I wish I could hug you. I wish everyone around me understood how I feel. Sending all my love your way, wishing you brighter days ahead.

  6. E.F

    I feel every single piece of this post. I am so sorry you are going through this! I am going through this now as well. I hope we will be ok soon. ❤️

  7. L.

    Em – the letter you wrote to your baby was beautiful and moving. Thank you for being honest about how you’re feeling. I pray that God will give you peace. His mercies are knew every morning.

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