Submitted by: A
When the well-kempt woman told me calmly that she had had four abortions, I was really surprised. Even as a pro-choice advocate who had two abortions at the time, I was taken aback by my own surprise to hear her speak her truth. She didn’t share to grieve or receive feedback. It just was, and so I learned about my unconscious biases.
In February 2020, I had my third abortion. Different than the first two in emotion, circumstance, and even partner, I knew that it was the right choice within the hours I saw the positive test strip.
I’ll never forget how helpful my nurse was. My medication was wearing off and a NP in training performed my surgical abortion. It was actually painful. My first wasn’t. But the nurse held my hand and when I stifled my curses and finally let out a loud, “fuuuuuuuuuuccccckkkk,” she yelled it out with me. It felt like we flash flooded a desolate and arid bottom valley with our cries and stripped the place clean of any lingering pain or emotion. I appreciate her. I don’t have a regret with this one. I don’t want to have another one.
I also have had another abortion (2) and I noticed that the second I felt like it hurt compared to the first one. I felt when she pulled it out and felt a part of me left as well.