More Than One Abortion

November 17, 2021

Note: The Exhale Pro-Voice After-Abortion Stories collection features people’s stories of their experiences and emotions, exactly as they have written them in. We do not edit these stories at all, and the content that follows this message is exactly as we received it. We know that people’s experiences are complex, and these stories reflect the many emotions they may be feeling after their abortions. From relief to grief, and everything in between, and all at the same time, we’re here for you.

Submitted by: A

When the well-kempt woman told me calmly that she had had four abortions, I was really surprised. Even as a pro-choice advocate who had two abortions at the time, I was taken aback by my own surprise to hear her speak her truth. She didn’t share to grieve or receive feedback. It just was, and so I learned about my unconscious biases.

In February 2020, I had my third abortion. Different than the first two in emotion, circumstance, and even partner, I knew that it was the right choice within the hours I saw the positive test strip.

I’ll never forget how helpful my nurse was. My medication was wearing off and a NP in training performed my surgical abortion. It was actually painful. My first wasn’t. But the nurse held my hand and when I stifled my curses and finally let out a loud, “fuuuuuuuuuuccccckkkk,” she yelled it out with me. It felt like we flash flooded a desolate and arid bottom valley with our cries and stripped the place clean of any lingering pain or emotion. I appreciate her. I don’t have a regret with this one. I don’t want to have another one.

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