My 2nd Abortion

Note: The Exhale Pro-Voice After-Abortion Stories Hub includes people’s stories of their experiences and emotions, exactly as they have written them in. We do not edit these stories at all, and the content that follows this message is exactly as we received it. We know that people’s experiences are complex, and these stories reflect the many emotions they may be feeling after their abortions. From relief to grief, and everything in between, and all at the same time, we’re here for you.

Submitted by: Grace

I had my first abortion in 2018. I was 21 years old, dating a guy who was 19. We were both way too young. Despite knowing it was the right decision for me, it was a very traumatic experience because deep down, I knew I wanted a baby with him. Maybe not then, but someday I knew I did. The trauma of not only a physical loss, but the loss of what could have been ripped me apart.

Here I am, 3 years later. That boyfriend and I broke up ultimately because of the previous abortion (I needed time to process and recover emotionally — time he didn’t want to give me). I haven’t had a new boyfriend since him, but I have started a casual relationship with someone new. I just found out yesterday I am 8 weeks pregnant. He wants what I want, which is an abortion, and he is willing to do any and everything I need to make sure I’m okay. I am very grateful to him.

The amount of shame I feel is heavy. I have only told him and one other person. I can’t seem to even tell my sister — who is my best friend — out of fear of judgement. Was I irresponsible? I suppose. I’m not on birth control because I hate the way it made me feel, but we always took precautions to be safe. I feel embarrassed. I know lots of women have multiple abortions (or maybe I’m just telling myself that?) but I didn’t think I would have to go through it again.

I think I am most scared for the reopening of the trauma. I went to two years of therapy in order to get over the last experience (don’t get me wrong — I do not regret it, it just seemed I lost a life for myself I thought that I wanted). I think this one will be easier because I am not in love with the man and have no sort of attachment to the baby. Who knows.

If you’re reading this and have had more than one abortion, can you comment? I feel so alone right now and the shame is only building.

Thanks for reading.

You deserve nonjudgmental
after-abortion support.

Text Exhale Pro-Voice:


Our confidential textline is available in the US and Canada and is staffed during the following hours:

Weekdays: 3 pm-9 pm (Pacific Time)
Saturdays: 1 pm-9 pm (Pacific Time)
Sundays: 3 pm-7 pm (Pacific Time)

Se habla español.
Due to high text volume, please expect a response within 24 hours.

2 responses to “My 2nd Abortion”

  1. Clare

    Hi Grace, you are not alone. I’ve had my third abortion recently and this is never something I saw for my life. I am 26 and feel so ashamed to be honest or share with my sisters as well because I still haven’t accepted that about myself. I also feel like multiple abortions makes it seem worse or even more shameful to me so I’m afraid people would know. IT was been hard but I am trying to let go of the judgement on myself first and it helps to read stories like these. I also didn’t think it was such a big deal because I was sure about my choice, but I think about it and it still makes me upset because the experience was isolating and difficult each time, and I really hope for anyone who experiences something like this that they have support and someone to accept them during it. thanks for sharing this.

  2. Kathy

    Hello Grace, You are brave and strong. You are not alone. I had two abortions many years ago, 1978 and 1984, both in situations where we had been using birth control that failed. Later, I had two healthy children (in 1991 and 2021) that have now grown to be healthy, happy adults. If you hope to raise children with (or without) a partner someday, that is still a choice you can make when you are ready. Blessings, Kathy

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *