My abortion Story: 9 Weeks Pregnant

Note: The Exhale Pro-Voice After-Abortion Stories Hub includes people’s stories of their experiences and emotions, exactly as they have written them in. We do not edit these stories at all, and the content that follows this message is exactly as we received it. We know that people’s experiences are complex, and these stories reflect the many emotions they may be feeling after their abortions. From relief to grief, and everything in between, and all at the same time, we’re here for you.

Submitted by: Anonymous

I found out I was pregnant near the end of April in 2019. I was experiencing symptoms such as morning sickness and certain foods or smells made me nauseous and I wasn’t able to hold down down at first I thought I was just getting sick or maybe it was just a stomach bug, but then my period was late I didn’t think much of it because I’ve been late before and I was also feelings period symptoms.

After being a week late I told my boyfriend and he told me to relax, that it’ll come, and it was probably just late because I was stressed. Then 2 weeks passed and still no sign of my period and that was when the pregnancy symptoms really started to kick in and It started to click that something wasn’t right.

My boyfriend bought three pregnancies test and I took all three. I begged and I prayed they would come out negative, but no. All three came out positive. I was 18. I told my boyfriend and he just looked so upset because we both knew what that would mean.

I cried and he just held me. I am pro choice I support women who decide to do this I just never thought it would happen to me. I always thought that if I was going to get pregnant at any age I would keep it, but no — I wasn’t ready. I was nowhere near ready. I was finishing my first year of college and my boyfriend and I we were ready as much as it hurt we weren’t ready.

I took the test on a Saturday and I called to make an appointment for a surgical appointment on Tuesday. There they told me I was 9 weeks pregnant. I made the appointment for Saturday May 4. When I arrived I had to check in, fill in some paperwork sit down and wait for them to call me. When they called me in I went to a room where they took my blood, checked my vitals and asked me questions such as Is this my first pregnancy, is this my first abortion, etc.

Once you finish there you wait in this other waiting room where they call you up to take an ultrasound, and once that’s finished they called me up to this office where they ask you if you are sure you know checking where your head is at because having an abortion… even if you know it’s the right thing to do and you’re set on it… it does affect you. Once they finished with that it was time to make the payment. When that’s over I went back to that same waiting room and waited for them to call me back down to perform the abortion.

I had a surgical abortion. I was awake while they did it. It lasted about 3 to 5 minutes, but it left like it was never going to end. They injected me with a needle to numb the area a little, but I could still feel some discomfort. My boyfriend did come with me during this whole process, which helped me a lot knowing I wasn’t alone.

The staff was so friendly and the nurse that was in the room held my hand. However there was a comment the doctor said once it finished that still bothers me to this day he said “remember to go on birth control now” and he giggled. To me that was just… wow I can’t even describe how that felt. It wasn’t easy waking up, getting out to bed, getting dressed, and leave my house to go there and do what I was doing.

When it finished they took me to this other room where I could either lay down or sit down to relax I asked to lay down. There they gave me some water and a few snacks to eat and after about 10 minutes or so I don’t really remember how long I stayed in that room they gave me this paper and a few pills (4) to take for the pain every 8 hours. Once that was finished they called my boyfriend down to come get me so he could help me and walk me to the car.

It was really hard the first couple of weeks and even months. I knew I made the right choice but that doesn’t make it any easier. I blamed myself a lot, but I don’t regret my decision. I did what was best for me. My due date was in December and it brought back a lot of memories and feelings, but I’m okay now I’m stronger now. I have not told anyone what happened, no one knows. I was never ready to share it until now.

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