Should I tell my mom about my abortion?

May 14, 2019

Note: The Exhale Pro-Voice After-Abortion Stories collection features people’s stories of their experiences and emotions, exactly as they have written them in. We do not edit these stories at all, and the content that follows this message is exactly as we received it. We know that people’s experiences are complex, and these stories reflect the many emotions they may be feeling after their abortions. From relief to grief, and everything in between, and all at the same time, we’re here for you.

Submitted by: Sara

I had an abortion 8 years ago. I never told my parents… I barely told anyone. I have always been terrified of disappointing my parents. The experience of having an abortion caused me a lot of trauma and really affected my self-esteem for a while. I eventually worked through it, changed as a person, and healed.

I’m now a mom of a 1 year old and am happily married. I have recently been contemplating telling my mom about my abortion because of encouragement from life-coaches. Their argument is that I should lean into resistance, and that fear and resistance is how we grow.

Part of me believes this to be true and thinks that maybe I could deepen my relationship with my mom if I tell her, but part of me wonders — why am I telling her? For my own benefit? And why does she need to know? This was my choice, my body, and it was an intimate medical experience. I am pro-voice, and I do believe in the power of sharing stories, but I feel sick to my stomach thinking about telling her. Do I really need to open up this can of worms again?

To share your story, click here.

You deserve nonjudgmental after-abortion support.

Text Exhale Pro-Voice:

617-749-2948

Our confidential textline is available in the US and Canada and is staffed during the following hours:

Weekdays: 3 pm-9 pm (Pacific Time)
Saturdays: 1 pm-9 pm (Pacific Time)
Sundays: 3 pm-7 pm (Pacific Time)

Se habla español.

Due to high text volume, please expect a response within 24 hours.