Grief

December 7, 2024

Note: The Exhale Pro-Voice After-Abortion Stories collection features people’s stories of their experiences and emotions, exactly as they have written them in. We do not edit these stories at all, and the content that follows this message is exactly as we received it. We know that people’s experiences are complex, and these stories reflect the many emotions they may be feeling after their abortions. From relief to grief, and everything in between, and all at the same time, we’re here for you.

A year later I am laying in bed, visiting my father in WI, and still navigating grief. Earlier today, he showed me baby pictures of myself and tears swelled up immediately. A year ago- I made a choice that seemed easy at the time because I had made it before, and I felt completely okay about it. I didn’t realize that things were different this time.

I was about to graduate with my bachelors and working my way up in the world. My boyfriend and I had been together for 6 years, but we were just figuring out life; I wasn’t ready to grow up. So I made the choice.

I made the choice. And that same week I found out that my boyfriend’s brother was having a baby. I was broken. The shame and the guilt behind being angry about a family member having a child while grieving is not something I wish on anyone else.

It’s been a year now, and it’s still not easy. But it’s been a year, and I’m about to graduate with my master’s degree and my husband (who was my boyfriend at the time) and I are going to Europe next week for a vacation. I have a great job lined up after graduating with my masters, and many more opportunities ahead.

But I’m laying in bed, crying, because while I know I made the right choice, the grief is something that I carry still. What keeps me going is the life I will be able to give my future family because of the sacrifices I have made, but I still grieve. I’m not sure if I’ll ever stop grieving.

Submitted by: Lin

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