I am a mom of 2 boys, with my youngest going into kinder last year all the feelings came and I felt like I needed another child, a 3rd. I cried for months thinking about how much I wanted to have another child and my husband and I decided to try for one more, we tried for a little over a year with no luck and I had accepted our family with just 2 children.
Last month I felt off and took a test and it was a very faint positive almost a week before my expected period, I had an immediate sense of dread. I told my husband who was trying to be supportive but as the days went on I couldn’t eat, sleep, shower.
I felt like I wouldn’t be able to be a good mother to my older 2 boys having to care for a newborn. My husband also verbalized that he did not want to start over and enjoyed have our kids who are already (mostly independent)I forced myself to make a quick decision, I wanted to have the choice made before I was expecting my period which gave me only a few days.
I decided to have a MA, initially I felt relief but the day after came deep regret and sadness. It’s been about a month now, but I still feel deep sadness and regret for the choice I made. I don’t know how I will ever feel happy again.