Submitted by: Mallory
Just over a month ago I had a one-night-stand with a friend I’ve known for a couple of years. We didn’t know each other extremely well, but we’ve always been friendly. I wanted to continue hanging out with him, but he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship, and was about to go back on tour with his band. Lo and behold, I missed my period that was supposed to come on Valentines Day. While we did not use protection and I am not on birth control, he did not finish inside of me. I truly did not believe I was pregnant, as I just didn’t “feel” it. I truly never thought this would ever happen to me.
A week later, I got the courage together and bought a two-stick pregnancy test kit at the drugstore. Both came back positive. I was dumbstruck. It didn’t feel real. I called 3 of my best friends on the phone, each conversation bringing out a different emotion. I was terrified to tell the male counterpart of this situation because of the way things ended. We weren’t even really talking anymore. In general, it’s just a scary feeling.
The next day I bought two more tests just to be sure. Of course, they also came back positive. I took a few breaths and sent him a text letting me know that I needed to talk to him when he had the chance. A couple of hours later and he called me from a few states away, having just arrived to the first town of their tour. He’s really a genuinely nice person, so thankfully he took the information well. He was extremely supportive and said all of the right things, even messaged me a couple of times that night to check in.
The following week or so was rough. He was distracted with the tour, which is understandable, but also made me feel forgotten. I’d also been grappling with a really bad cold, not to mention everything about this situation was settling in. I’ve been withdrawing from people and staying home most nights, with the exception of work. It’s all very intense to handle. I’ve been annoyed at times because it feels like he has no problem going and enjoying himself, while I deal with all of the consequences.
He recently returned from tour, but it’s been very hard because I haven’t even seen him in person at all. It feels especially hard because we aren’t even dating. This is such a personal thing to be going through and it’s a lot to deal with someone you barely know and when it feels like you’re alone.
I have the procedure is in two days, but he is driving me. I didn’t think it was fair for me to deal with all of this myself. I asked him to drive to the clinic so at least part of the burden would be shared. I also asked him to hang out with me the day before because it feels weird not seeing him before the appointment.
Maybe it sounds selfish, but I want him to have to deal with this at least a fraction the consequences. I don’t mean to make him out as a bad guy, it just seems that he’s a little distracted, whereas this whole situation is distracting me from being able to go about my daily life and accomplish things I need to be doing. I’m also nervous that after the procedure we just won’t really talk or interact anymore. When I first told him he said this will bring us closer, but it hasn’t been feeling that way at all. Any advice on how to handle this situation would be appreciated, as I have no idea what I’m doing.