Scared of regret

Note: The Exhale Pro-Voice After-Abortion Stories Hub includes people’s stories of their experiences and emotions, exactly as they have written them in. We do not edit these stories at all, and the content that follows this message is exactly as we received it. We know that people’s experiences are complex, and these stories reflect the many emotions they may be feeling after their abortions. From relief to grief, and everything in between, and all at the same time, we’re here for you.

Submitted by: Kate

Hello, I am 11 weeks pregnant and I’ve struggled with making a decision from the moment I found out at 4 weeks. I’m 27 years old, this is my first pregnancy and I’m married.

About a year ago my husband admitted to cheating on me with several different women. I’m broken to my core and I can’t imagine having a child with someone who could hurt me so badly. My abortion appointment is tomorrow and I’m so afraid that with my fragile heart I will regret this decision. My husband of course wants the baby and me, however I can’t imagine the idea at this time of bringing an innocent life into such a fucked up season of my marriage and life. Any encouragement is needed. Thanks.

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2 responses to “Scared of regret”

  1. Kathleen

    Kate- How are you? What did you decide to do….

    Thinking of you.

  2. Anonymous

    no one can or should tell you what to do with this decision. When I first heard that, I thought it was because I was killing something and no one wanted blood on their hands. Now I realize because it’s your decision and no one can tell you what to do, plain and simple. Because there’s a million ways of thinking about this, and by virtue of that fact, no one should be allowed to tell you what it is. For me, I felt like it was an accident, and I needed the jaws of life to get me out of it. I didn’t want to make a person out of guilt. I decided that just because I got in a car accident doesn’t mean I deserved to live in that car wreck forever. But others might see it another way. Really depends what it is. I had a lot of doctors around me and so my reasoning about it is very different from some people. I don’t know if any of this is helpful. The only thing I really know about abortion is that is entirely your choice and you’ve likely internalized a lot of hatred language around it. The world hates women. Somehow we’re smaller physically, and that means we somehow, still, are second to people that come out of us. We are a mystical group, women, and you are naturally equipped to make this decision. It is something you can decide, either way. No one else’s opinion matters as much as your own. It will be ok. And this is your choice. I finally understand why they say that so much.

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